Jeff, I can certainly relate to your frustration. I had a good group of people together doing Dead stuff for a couple of years until other projects, life, etc. got in the way. Since then I've been trying to put a new project together. It seems I'm running into people who either really don't know the Dead stuff very well, or others who want to do a Dead tribute: copying the Dead note for note, rhythm player sings Bobby songs, lead sings Jerry songs, etc. To me the tribute approach is anathema to the whole Dead trip. My current plan of attack is to put together informal Dead jams once a month or so. I'm hoping to cull the right players from these jams. I think this might work a little better than getting five strangers in a room and trying to be a band. Another thing I find is that pulling off the Dead style requires the players to be familiar with each others' playing, and to LISTEN to each other. The listening part seems to be a problem for many players, especially lead guitarists. In this regard, I find that it usually works better if I start out playing more simply, just doing the straight rhythm chords, and work into the inversions, different voicings, lead with chords thing as we get to know each other's playing a little more. One thing I can tell you is that your chances of putting something together are much better if you keep trying than if you give up. Hang in there, bro.
Bill, tgo