Author Topic: Mind probe (Read 245 times)

bassman68 · « **on:** January 18, 2008, 04:33:39 PM »

So they invent a 'mind reading probe'...
They zap a local band.....
Lead singer is thinking..'I'm great,I could have any woman in this audience'
The guitarist is thinking..'I'm the real star of this band, That blonde by the bar is really hot!'
The drummer is thinking..'Where's the nearest food outlet when we're finished here?'
The bass player..'E,234,A,234'.....

terryc · « **Reply #1 on:** January 21, 2008, 08:12:01 AM »

How does a singer change a light bulb..he holds it and expects the world to revolve around him
How do you confuse a guitarist..give him a sheet of music
How do you stop a drummer doing constant fills..give him pizza
Hear about the bass player who goes into shop asking to purchase a 5 string bass, after much conversation with the assistant on his side( he explains everything about neck width, string spacing, active electronics the assistant fianlly gets a word in edgeways and informs him that he is in a furniture shop..oops

lbpesq · « **Reply #2 on:** January 21, 2008, 08:16:47 AM »

What do you call a guitarist that breaks up wit his girlfriend?
.
.
.
Homeless

What do you call someone who's tone deaf and likes to hang out with musicians?
.
.
.
a drummer.

Bill, tgo

olieoliver · « **Reply #3 on:** January 21, 2008, 08:37:05 AM »

How?s that old clich? go ??a bass player is just a frustrated guitar player? ?or is it?.? a guitar player is a bass player with no rhythm?....?

Olie
(T B&G O)

bracheen · « **Reply #4 on:** January 21, 2008, 09:07:53 AM »

I think it must be the latter, Olie. Although guitars do frustrate me no end.

How to mess with a bass player, detune one of his strings but don't tell him which one.

Sam

811952 · « **Reply #5 on:** January 21, 2008, 09:44:41 AM »

What do you throw to a drowning bassist?

His amp! *rim shot*

Thanks, I'll be here all week! Don't forget to try the roast beef!

alembic_doctor · « **Reply #6 on:** January 21, 2008, 09:58:20 AM »

What's the difference between a drummer and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four. *rim shot*

crobbins · « **Reply #7 on:** January 21, 2008, 11:04:45 AM »

A man gives his son an electric bass for his 15th birthday, along with a coupon for four bass lessons. When the son returns from his first lesson, the father asks, So, what did you learn?
Well, I learned the first five notes on the E string. Next week, after the second lesson, the father again asks about the progress, and the son replies, This time I learned the first five notes on the A string. One week later, the son comes home far later than expected, smelling of cigarettes and beer. So the father asks: Hey, what happened in today's lesson? Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't make it to my lesson; I had a gig!

cozmik_cowboy · « **Reply #8 on:** January 21, 2008, 12:57:03 PM »

A man is shipwrecked, but finds his way to a small but, fortunately, inhabited island. The people had seen the ship go down, and were waiting on the beach to celebrate any survivors - a bonfire, a feast, and much constant drumming. While this is all most welcome at first, the drumming begins to wear thin after dinner, and he asks the nearest person When does the drumming stop? The reply comes Oh, very bad when drumming stops! Several hours later, as he develops a killer headache from the pounding, he again asks When does the drumming stop? and receives the same answer. About midnight, as he's getting ready to go to sleep, he asks again, and again is told Very bad when drumming stops! It continues all night, precluding sleep, and by morning he's so frazzled he grabs the first person he sees and, shaking them, yells WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE DRUMMING STOPS?!?!?!
Bass solo.

olieoliver · « **Reply #9 on:** January 21, 2008, 01:02:34 PM »

As Joe Dirt would say, DAAAAANG.

chuck · « **Reply #10 on:** January 21, 2008, 04:31:58 PM »

How do you tell if the stage is level?
When the drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth at the same time.

terryc · « **Reply #11 on:** January 22, 2008, 06:33:47 AM »

Hear about the vocalist whenever he opened the refrigerator door he just had to burst into verse

Musicians jokes...they go on & on

Cosmik cowboy..did you get that from Level 42's documentary video from the late 80's(awesome bass solo after the joke)

cozmik_cowboy · « **Reply #12 on:** January 22, 2008, 02:33:08 PM »

No, never saw that vid - don't recall where I got it; most likely from a site of drummer jokes I sought out right after buying the youngest kid his drum set.

Peter

Bradley Young · « **Reply #13 on:** January 22, 2008, 03:08:59 PM »

How can you tell that the singer is at the door?

He can't find the key and can't figure out when to come in.

Bradley Young · « **Reply #14 on:** January 22, 2008, 03:17:53 PM »

How does a bass player screw in a lightbulb?

He doesn't! The piano player does it with his left hand.