Ugh! I've been through something a little like that before (in my pre-Alembic days, in fact)... the guy I was playing with was good, but his tastes in bass sound leaned towards Crosby, Stills and Nash, and mine were more Jefferson Airplane. I was kind of relieved when he moved away and I'm now playing with people who let me be me and seem satisfied with that.
Is your band leader judging your sound solely by watching the videos on yootoob? And that audio is from your tablet on stage? The stage sound captured by a tablet and processed through the tablet's AGC and devil knows what at yootoob is going to be very far removed from what the audience perceives. In particular, the very short percussive peaks of bass notes will push everything else out of the way - that's an artifact of processing, not representative of how people hear it live.
A while back I was playing a small gig (wine tasting room) with a semi-acoustic band; for a song or two our guest vocalist played piano and I handed our usual keyboard player my Alembic and listened from the audience. The sound that I had thought, from my on-stage perspective, might be a little over the top bright actually wasn't that way at all out in the room. It was just thick (in a good way) and very present without being too out front.
So your band leader (and you) can just relax over this a little, don't let it blow up a great band. Casual videos are fun, they're good for getting some idea of how the show hangs together, but really can't really tell you what the mix sounds like to the audience. Maybe get some trusted friends to report how it sounds in the room?