The Police responded to a call about domestic violence, to find that the wife had beaten her husband with several of his guitars, and she was taken into custody.
In her first court appearance, the Judge asked her, 'First offender?'
She replied,'No your honor, first a Gibson, THEN a Fender.'
100% true story... it's been long enough that I can probably get by with telling it if I don't name names.. we fixed a banjo one time, a Gibson Granada top-of-the-line gold-plated model, that had been a severe victim of domestic violence. In a drug and alcohol-fueled rage, the banjo had been flung down a flight of steps,
after being taken out of its case. Let that sink in. When we got it, the headstock was broken off, two of the tuning pegs sheared off. The neck heel was broken right between the two lag bolts that joined it to the shell, and that was just the beginning. The beautiful gold-plated flange was broken in three places, and had shattered the sidewall of the sunburst finished resonator. The saddest part of the backstory; the banjo had been a gift from a grandfather to a grandson. It was almost a total loss when this tearful grandfather brought it to us to see if it could be fixed. Between Dad and me, we put that fool thing back together. You really had to know what to look for to know anything ever happened to it.
A couple, well... several years later, I was at a jam one night, and saw the case... unmistakable - still had the nameplate on it. I didn't see the cat around there anywhere though. After a while I asked where they were? Nobody knew who I was talking about. I said, well, that's his banjo over there. Just a buncha' shrugs. Turned out after all that work, it got sold, the repairs were never disclosed, and the guy who bought it had no idea. I guess it was less funny to them. Fortunately the guy who had bought the Gibson had known Dad and me both for years, so he was good with it if a little unhappy. As far as I know, he still has that banjo. I happen to know he has a grandson who plays too...
