Height and Gauge are extremely individual, each person develops during life his own tastes about how stiff wants his strings. And this can change in time, too.
In general terms, heavier strings and/or higher string height makes them feel stiffer. In the good side of it, this helps to avoid fret noises and makes pitch more stable. It also can improve tone in the sense that you'll hear upper harmonics better. So, why not everyone uses heavy strings set up to the sky? Because it is easier to play fast and bend lighter strings. So we all have to discover how low we can go, it's a compromise game, you may say.
I tend to record with heavier sets, but live I prefer lighter ones. Consider that I also try to use them as low as my bass and technique can handle, in the limit of choking when hitted real hard (I can almost get a slap/chick picking tone when hit harder). This pushes me to improve finger control on how hard I pluck as the intention is to use strengh to change bass tone and even pitch slightly (I play fretless for years and like those little - almost "vocal" - imperfections).
The problem is being able to keep fingers under control and consciously do those things in a live situation. But, to be honest, I've just changed the way I set up my bass when got the Alembic and better (and louder) amps, because you have to hear yourself really well to keep plucking light. Also is good to say that playing softer doesn't means sounding weak because you compensate with the Amp's master volume and, showing less strong upper harmonics, in fact will enhance lows and the bass will sounds heavier.
