Author Topic: I'm dead ...again ... (Read 595 times)

palembic · « **on:** February 02, 2004, 11:47:18 AM »

I said to myself: Paul (I'm Gemini as you already know so I always have these very interesting conversations with myself) let's live up the neighbourhood a bit here.
This thread should have called Your most embarrassing moment but hey ...nobody would have opened it so ...this is sexier ...oh ..well ..huh.
Anyway this weird self-support group is in a therapeutical league already so let the stories come.
I start.
Of course.
Thsi one goes back to my public (with people and family) exam of the first grade (3 years) of upright bass.
I stepped forward took my bass, put the two sheets of music on the stand, put up my glasses, controlled my bow, checked the tuning, closed my eyes and ...concentrated ...concentrated ...I could feel the audience concentrate with me.
I opened my eyes, gave a nod to the piano player and ...off we go.
It went ...well ...not to bad.
I jumped with my eyes to the second page and ...my whole world seemed to fall apart.

I had set the page ...upside down.

I had to stop ... to the consternation of the public.
I reversed the sheet ...
the whole audience bursted in laughter.
I thought ...I'm dead.
And start playing again ...badly.
Good advice, you pubers of 50-something out there: put up your glasses FIRST.

Paul the bad one

PS: I passed the exams ...merely as the jester of the group I think. The head of the jury said they never had a laugh like that in their live!

bigbadbill · « **Reply #1 on:** February 02, 2004, 12:00:18 PM »

Paul, you just get funnier and funnier.....I laughed so much at this one I nearly cried....

All the best
Shaun

Jan R · « **Reply #2 on:** February 02, 2004, 12:17:53 PM »

Same here, I nearly felt of my chair laughing.
I can really see it happening before me Paul :-)

bracheen · « **Reply #3 on:** February 02, 2004, 12:23:36 PM »

I won't tell on myself but I'll tell on my brother.
He was at an open audition for the NY Metropolitan Opera in Sarasota. One of the things he was to sing was an Italian aria, don't remember which one. He forgot some of the words and just made up syllables without missing a beat of the music.
Afterward one of the judges told him he needed to work on his articulation.
He failed the audition.

Sam

kenbass4 · « **Reply #4 on:** February 02, 2004, 12:45:58 PM »

The band I was in several years ago was playing at a fairly good-sized venue in N. Calif. We were playing the main hall at the Kanochti Harbor resort while Kansas and The Doobie Brothers were playing the outdoor ampatheater. (ie, BIG GIG!!) I was playing my Ibanez Soundgear, and we were about halfway through our first set when Crackle! POP!! SFFFFT!!! no sound out of Ibanez. Dead. Did Ken bring a backup bass that night?? Why, NOOOO!!! We took a quick break and resoldered the output jack that had disconnected and finnished the set. I now bring ALL of my basses to every gig...

palembic · « **Reply #5 on:** February 02, 2004, 03:37:58 PM »

Open up your souls brothers and sisters, sjow us your most embarrassing moment and a heavy pain will fell off your chest. Your playing will improve ...yessir ...indeedsir!
Now ...who's next?

Paul the bad one

wideload · « **Reply #6 on:** February 02, 2004, 03:57:20 PM »

Sheet music??? What's that???!!

Larry

hollis · « **Reply #7 on:** February 02, 2004, 05:17:56 PM »

Here goes.......
I was 11 years old and my flute teacher somehow decidied that I was good enough to play for the Los Angeles Philharmonic....What she didn't know, (and neither did my parents) was that I was playing everything by ear. All the practice they heard was stuff I was making up as I went along....My mother took me to the audition. there I sat with about 200 very accomplished little kids...The first part of the audition went well, because I had plenty of time to listen and figure out what was expected of me before my turn came up to play. However, for the second part, the audition committee (no fools they) came around with a piece of music and placed it in front of me. All was still cool until I realized that everyone was given a different piece to play......When my turn came up to play, suffice to say it didn't go real well...
I'll never forget the look of surprised disappointment on my mother's face....
BTW I still play what I hear in my head....And (thanks to that embarrassing moment), I can even tell what a few of the notes are!

elzie · « **Reply #8 on:** February 02, 2004, 07:03:42 PM »

Wow!

At least I know I'm not alone! While I have MANY embarrassing moments, I'll be brief.

The first example took place about 14 years ago. I had recently joined a new band and we were going to play our first gig together at a small club called Grover's in Beverly. Yeah, you ANEC guys know how small this place was;) Well, we used to take our own sound guy with us as he owned the studio we recorded at and since I would pick him up, he would repay me with a monster bass sound through the board. Anyway, our set was a mix of originals with a good dose of covers to keep people interested in something they've heard. Soooooo, our first song of the night was Radar Love and that has a pretty powerful first beat, especially when the bass player (me) starts on the count of three and the rest of the band started on four! And I really made a spectacle of myself on that ever decreasing tiny stage by jumping and whacking my head off of one of the stage lights at the same time!! I guess what made it even worse was that some friends said that was our best song. EEEK!

Now for the second example I threatened you with. Waaay back in the early 80's a band I was in was playing a battle of the bands at a junior high school. Everything went wrong, all under those wonderful bright school lights..... I will never forget our drummer. He was the most powerful drummer I have ever heard. His last words to us before the show were don't worry, I'll let you know if I'm going to solo, yeah, right. The curtain opens and what happens? A loud misplaced drum solo! That is not the end. Our first song is Heartbreaker by Led Zep. During the solo, our guitar player decides to stop and tune up on stage while plugged in ( he later went on to graduate from Berkley, but I'm sure he didn't do that there). So with all this silence, the singer decided it would be wise to start telling bad jokes and trying to invite 12 year old girls on stage. Ay carumba! Did I ever want the stage to swallow me up. Needless to say, we didn't win the battle that night

Paul TEO The Embarrassed One

palembic · « **Reply #9 on:** February 02, 2004, 11:01:31 PM »

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrruffle-crash ...and Paul the Good one ladies and gentle people!

Brother Paul looking at your haircut you bumped into a lot of lights in your career?? ;-)

Brother Larry, if I understand Brother Danno sheetmusic is a guy with a thick spanish accent trying to explain it is very bad music.
LOL

Paul the bad one

bracheen · « **Reply #10 on:** February 03, 2004, 03:40:43 AM »

Paul, TGO, please tell me those two shows were video taped and you have copies to share.

Sheetmusic? Is that like sheetrock?

palembic · « **Reply #11 on:** February 03, 2004, 03:55:39 AM »

Rrrrrrrrrrrufle and Brother Sam is completely with us ladies and gentle people!!

angelboy · « **Reply #12 on:** February 03, 2004, 05:13:20 AM »

I wish I had an embarrasing moment........maybe if I stayed of the booze when I play then I'd probably remember a few!

A wise man once told me that you should practice your parts until you can play them inside-out.........then you should have a few bottles and practice again until you can play them un-blemished..........I'm up to about 10 bottles before a gig and the more drunk I get, the better I sound.............oh to be a wise man......

Paul TAO

bracheen · « **Reply #13 on:** February 03, 2004, 05:16:59 AM »

If it's worth doing, it's worth doing in excess!

jet_powers · « **Reply #14 on:** February 03, 2004, 06:27:23 AM »

More years ago than I care to recount I was playing with my band at a nearby watering hole that had a fair sized music room. I was using a wireless set up at the time and I thought I would pull a disappearing act. The band had a dressing room on the opposite side of the room from the stage. Halfway through the last song of a set I started wandering through the crowd playing away and arrived at the dressing room door perfectly timed to the end of the song. I thought I would open the door, go through and 'disappear'. Only the door was locked. So I stood there next to the pool tables just looking silly instead.....