Author Topic: Need some advice (Read 772 times)

glocke · « **Reply #30 on:** June 27, 2006, 09:33:01 AM »

Congratulations on the upcoming anniversery Olie...

Your right...You dont want to be dating in this day and age...It is pretty darn scary....

I am 38, and have only recently realized that I do not want to live on my own any more, but at the same time I also realize that living alone is better than the alternative of moving in/getting married to someone that may have ulterior motives...I have seen too many of my friends go through some pretty ugly episodes like some that are described further up in the thread...

lbpesq · « **Reply #31 on:** June 27, 2006, 09:34:34 AM »

Just wondering - how soon until she turns 40? That could be the cause of the sudden rush to commit. Those milestone B-days can wreak havoc on some people. (Personally, I never turned 40. I spent a year celebrating the 1st anniversary of my 39th, then went straight to 41)

Bill, tgo

glocke · « **Reply #32 on:** June 27, 2006, 09:39:56 AM »

second week of november she turns 40....I am sure thats a large part of it...

paulman · « **Reply #33 on:** June 27, 2006, 09:47:48 AM »

Yes being older it's harder to date in this day and age. I personally am much more selective on whom i will pursue. Good luck to mtbazz in his desicion whichever it may be. He does have a strong community here though.

lbpesq · « **Reply #34 on:** June 27, 2006, 10:38:58 AM »

Scorpio woman? RUN!

Bill, tgo

olieoliver · « **Reply #35 on:** June 27, 2006, 10:46:24 AM »

Bill!? My wife's a Scorpio. If you're trying to imply that being a Scorpio she will be moody, mean spirited, cold hearted self absorbed and utterly materialistic, I can with out a doubt verify that you have HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.

olieoliver · « **Reply #36 on:** June 27, 2006, 10:48:12 AM »

Just Kidding baby!

spliffy · « **Reply #37 on:** June 27, 2006, 11:30:33 AM »

I think you need to talk with her. If she will not listen to your concerns and thoughts then that would definitely be a sign to step away, because in any successful relationship you have to listen and and respect someones views. Give and Take, give and take. Ask her why the sudden rush, how does she feel about you etc etc. Also ask yourself if this is someone you could see yourself with in the long run. If it is then consider having her move in. Long distance relationships are hard and seldom work... I know.
Of course it sounds like you do not trust her, in which case that is something you will never do and is grounds for a bad relationship.

fc spoiler is correct too about your social network - you have a bunch of us here to help.

Al

lidon2001 · « **Reply #38 on:** June 27, 2006, 03:21:16 PM »

My gut just leads me to pizza and Coca-Cola...

Good luck to all!

T

2400wattman · « **Reply #39 on:** June 27, 2006, 03:51:06 PM »

thin or thick crust?

lbpesq · « **Reply #40 on:** June 27, 2006, 04:08:11 PM »

O.K. Let's bring this full circle. Hop on your motorcycle, head on home, and have a beer.

Bill, tgo

richbass939 · « **Reply #41 on:** June 27, 2006, 05:12:52 PM »

Gregory, I've thought a lot about this today. I came to much the same conclusion as Mr. Spliffy. If you didn't think that the woman had keeper potential you probably wouldn't have brought up the subject. You don't have anything to lose by asking a few direct questions. Maybe she really cares about you but is freaked about something. Maybe her home situation (or some other part of her life) is something she thinks would drive you away. Both of you may be operating on some assuptions about the other that might not be true. The only way to find out is to bring it up. If she refuses to talk then you have your answer.
There are definitely some things you described that bring up some red flags. You have some good reasons to doubt whether it would work between you two. But, if you genuinely care about her you owe it to yourself to attempt to get a real answer rather than going on an assumption.
I've done a rough tally of the posts here and I know I'm in the minority. Yes, I got lucky and found someone with whom I fit very well. We just had our 18th anniversary and things are very good. I know I'm not any better than anyone else. I just had the good fortune to find the right one the first time.
Good luck to you, Gregory, in finding the right answer to your questions and in making the right decision.
Rich

lidon2001 · « **Reply #42 on:** June 27, 2006, 05:45:27 PM »

I agree with Rich. And thin, unless I'm in Chicago.

Tom

bassman10096 · « **Reply #43 on:** June 28, 2006, 05:20:36 AM »

Hope this all turns out the way you want it. I suspect your instincts and the instincts of (looks like near a couple dozen...) your Alembuddies are correct. It's harder to have to make a decision like this when you've decided you don't want to be alone. And don't underestimate the accomodations, adjustments and just plain putting up with sh*t being in a GOOD, commited relationship will require.
But I think those here who've been in a successful relationship might agree: In a good relationship the concessions you have to make should make sense to you and be within reach of your vision of what you want for yourself and what you can get onboard for. Good luck. There's others out there who're much closer to what would make you happy. Good luck (and be careful out there.).
Bill

keavin · « **Reply #44 on:** June 28, 2006, 07:16:47 AM »

He maid it to 2nd Base.....which means he sucks a mean Tit!.....................Slide on into Home plate!..............but remember Never Marry a Groupie!