Even though I think the first three Van Halen albums should first be put in the national archive, and then should be shot into deep space on a gold record attached to its own special satellite shaped like a Jack Daniel's bottle for the benefit of the rest of the universe, I think the jacked-up quarter (assuming two bits counts as evidence of debt) may make each of these things meticulosly illegal:
United States Code
TITLE 18 - CRIMES AND CRIMINAL PROCEDURE
PART I - CRIMES
CHAPTER 17 - COINS AND CURRENCY
333. Mutilation of national bank obligations
Whoever mutilates, cuts, defaces, disfigures, or perforates, or unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, or Federal Reserve bank, or the Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt unfit to be reissued, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.
Would this make these goofy things worth $25K just for their inherently forbidden constitution? Dunno, but unless this thing is played off to the feds as a really snazzy quarter that is still viable legal tender (representing about a 100,00 fold loss on your investment), you're just asking to send the people at the Fender shop to the clink.
Again, I don't know, but other than excelling in the prison wood shop, I don't think they have the necessary survival skills!
But on a related VH collectible note, I have distressed sweat socks that are exact replicas of the ones that Alex Van Halen wore on the WACF tour! This year's run is limited to 52 pairs of these stinky beauties given the time required for the patented aging process!
A must-have for any serious Roth-era Van Halen fan!
Serious inquiries only.