Author Topic: All I can say is holy cow....how NOT to look for musicians (Read 144 times)

glocke · « **on:** February 05, 2010, 02:50:15 PM »

http://cnj.craigslist.org/muc/1586407021.html

elwoodblue · « **Reply #1 on:** February 05, 2010, 02:53:51 PM »

That made my head hurt to read.

hb3 · « **Reply #2 on:** February 05, 2010, 03:46:39 PM »

That's not so bad. My favorites are the no pay ads, which usually go something like, You must play everything we tell you to play. You cannot bring in your own songs. Note-for-note, you will play as you are told.

No pay.

hb3 · « **Reply #3 on:** February 05, 2010, 03:58:25 PM »

You must play our recordings EXACTLY as they were recorded. Your creative input is neither requested or desired, and will not be tolerated. You must be between 18-21 (no oldies!). No drugs. Must have pro gear. Must have own transportation. Must sing backups.

No pay.

(Message edited by hb3 on February 05, 2010)

slawie · « **Reply #4 on:** February 05, 2010, 04:09:52 PM »

I rang the number and the guy said that;

Daves' not here Man!

slawie

pace · « **Reply #5 on:** February 06, 2010, 11:55:40 AM »

lol.... I saw the title of this thread and thought it might have been Flax's latest Craigslist ad/rant... We've been trying get some heads together to jam for a while now, and most recently the drummer he thought we solidified got cold feet about playing w/ strangers and being afraid of being disappointed in our caliber of playing... It'd be funny if my biological clock wasn't yearning to kick out some jams w/ a fresh batch of players!...

bigredbass · « **Reply #6 on:** February 06, 2010, 09:24:30 PM »

Just say . . . 'NO'.

WHEN I was fool enough to respond to ads like this, I'd get over there and they'd be EVERYTHING they didn't want in the musicians they were hoping to round up in the ad: Can't play, can't hang, and and they sure as hell didn't wnat any of MY ideas.

THIS is exactly why I'll never play out again.

Sheesh, I'm turning into one of those internet dweebs that CAPITALIZES every other word . . . .

J o e y

bassman10096 · « **Reply #7 on:** February 06, 2010, 10:14:45 PM »

I've read some others that made that one sound like easygoing fun...

Joey's right, though - as a veteran of a lot of auditions, it usually turns out that the things the ad says the band does not want you to be sound an awful lot like themselves. Ever wonder how many people wouldn't recognize themselves in a crowd...

glocke · « **Reply #8 on:** February 07, 2010, 02:10:51 AM »

Actually, these are the guys from my old band The Mystery Cats....

Joey and Bill pretty much hit the nail on the head, they were everything that they didnt want in musicians. They hardly ever practiced at home on their own, they didnt want others in the band to be in other projects, but would at times be in other projects themselves...They complained about having to play gigs at small bars, and canceled gigs at the last minute because they were too far in one case the drummer didnt even bother showing up because he couldnt find his hi-hat stand, but didnt bother to tell us until everyone else was already at the venue.

I left, well actually found out by this ad that I was not welcome back because they ONLY wanted to rehearse Friday nights, and every friday night at that, and I needed more flexibility than that. I had sent them an email informing them of that, and had asked if we could just do two longer reahearsals each month on a sat/sun. The next day I check out craigslist and see this ad....I was pretty shocked by the level of venom in this ad....

Now its onto bigger and better thangs with nicer peeps!

mike1762 · « **Reply #9 on:** February 07, 2010, 11:19:23 AM »

2 guys seek 4 guys to join their band. That's pretty funny. I remember reading an interview with John Fogerty regarding the formation of CCR. The other guys had already been playing together; but nonetheless, John decided that THEY had joined HIS (1 man) band.

terryc · « **Reply #10 on:** February 07, 2010, 12:08:56 PM »

They sound like a***holes with no musical creativity.
I guess they really need to keep their day jobs with specifics like that!
Still the USA is a big place and they may be lucky to get someone who fits right into their ideals of a band...how many more tribute bands can be formed before no original music is ever done..lord help me!

811952 · « **Reply #11 on:** February 07, 2010, 03:21:13 PM »

I think the answer is to show up for an audition with a bad cold, and fart a lot..

ed_zeppelin · « **Reply #12 on:** February 07, 2010, 07:06:16 PM »

A friend of mine responded to an ad like that, and it was two brothers who decided to be rock stars, despite a total lack of talent or experience.

My friend (a keyboardist with a degree from Berklee) left after about five minutes.

So I got their address from him, and for fifteen years, every few months or so I'll send them postcards from Biff and Muffy, a couple of successful musicians I made up, with stuff about their fights, psycho meds and their three horrible children, which they take on tour with them.

I'll make reference to some facet of the brothers' sad, boring lives (the town they live in, local clubs, local news stories, etc.) and I always tell them about life on the road, playing huge concerts, and never fail to mention a biker bar in the next town over from them.

I've never said anything threatening or weird in the slightest (that would spoil the surreal quality, I feel). I've also never told them the name of the act.

Hey, you have to do something. Might as well make it something funny and weird, huh?

jack · « **Reply #13 on:** February 08, 2010, 12:21:37 PM »

Ed! Stop sending me postcards!

hydrargyrum · « **Reply #14 on:** February 08, 2010, 02:53:22 PM »

Wow Ed, it sounds like you've really put some thought into this. Frankly, I can't see that the effort is worth it, but at least the world is a little stranger for having you in it, and that is always a good thing.