Author Topic: People asking to sit in? (Read 615 times)

glocke · « **Reply #15 on:** October 31, 2014, 10:20:13 AM »

He will be using my rig, but not my bass.

thanks for the replies...Glad Im not the only one who thought it was odd, especially since one of his posts just came across my facebook feed, claiming he will be sitting in for a few songs..

Really, I just can't imagine asking to sit in on someone elses gig.

It's possible Im on my way to getting replaced I think as I don't see eye to eye with these guys in terms of gigs. They want to play anything that comes their way, no matter the distance even if its free (they recently wanted to play for free at a fest that had an entrance fee and was three hours away)...that type of stuff i just can't do

As much as I enjoy playing, musicians and their egos/attitudes really just agitate me and based on what I know of him from his previous posts with bands he's pretty ego driven

Glynn · « **Reply #16 on:** October 31, 2014, 10:45:22 AM »

I don't know what your rig is but you could mess around with all the settings just before he goes on (the more complex the better) so he gets a rubbish sound that he hasn't got time to correct.
That said, I wouldn't lend my rig.
Told you I was hard but gear is expensive and it takes a long time to get what we like.
Glynn

keith_h · « **Reply #17 on:** October 31, 2014, 11:29:52 AM »

Greg,
Now that you've said it I'll give my full opinion. It sounds to me like the guy sitting in is a live audition. My gut tells me not everyone is in on it and the guitar player is trying to set up a How about this guy thing. If that is what's going on I don't have any respect for your band mates. IMO if they were decent folks they would be up front and say Due to the gig situation we are looking for a new bassist.

Keith

pauldo · « **Reply #18 on:** October 31, 2014, 11:44:51 AM »

In addition to Keith's statement.

Greg know this: you are not wrong by any means to demand a better gigging situation, I (and certainly many others here) have been down that path, been in THAT band, that plays nothing but free shows (anywhere!)and has ego issues . . . .

Maybe take a break from it, clear your head and then start looking for other musical opportunities.

Good Luck

glocke · « **Reply #19 on:** November 01, 2014, 07:26:11 AM »

Still not sure what the deal was, but all I can say is never again unless it is someone I know personally and am good friends with, and I honestly really don't care if it makes me look like a ^$^& for saying no.

I should have just flat out sound no from the start...The guy clearly wasn't happy with sitting in for one song, so ended up being there for three songs.

Than theres the fact that he had six string, and kept overdriving either my amp or speakers when he would hit the low notes. Not sure if that can cause damage or not, but it didn't sound very healthy.

@Paul...Yeah, don't really need a break. I have/had a good musical balance and get offers from other bands to play, and the money thing really isn't an issue for me until the gigs start getting further away (as in 40 minutes to an hour) from my home. I told them that for anything under 40 minutes away they can keep my share and just put it towards studio expenses.

Its the things they want to play that are 1,2, or 3 hours away that I need reimbursement for. Those things just end up costing me way too much money

JuancarlinBass · « **Reply #20 on:** November 01, 2014, 09:29:20 PM »

There is nothing I can really add to the topic, I heartly agree with everything that has been said here. I?ve been in that situation where someone unknown comes from the dark and says Hey you guys sound really good, I will play some tunes with you and I simply say: No, pal, this is a rehearsed show -even if it is not- and we cannot allow changes to it. Then there?s the occasional guy that comes and goes I wanna sing this or that tune, give me your guitar, who gets a blunt NO from myself, without any further word. I have seen - and suffered- one too many times all sort of accidents and mishaps in the middle of a performance, that I REALLY prefer to be seen a the ogre-like guy, rather than letting anyone screw my WORK. Of course, with a handful of acts I play with we DO invite other musicians we know, and they join us, not only for songs we perform, but in several cases we do know some of THEIR original tunes and act for a minute or two as their backup band. But that is very different from trying to steal the show, which is what makes me think of this whole scenario. Now, if it was a Jam it would be a completely different situation (although I do think there applies some etiquette as well), but I try my best to NEVER let it happen on a gig. There go my 0,0002 parts of a cent...

jacko · « **Reply #21 on:** November 02, 2014, 01:00:09 AM »

Greg - a similar thing happened to me at the start of the year. The band's old bassist asked if he could sit in for a couple of numbers on a January gig - he'd use my rig but his own instrument. He had left the band early 2013 feeling burnt out but confided to me that he was missing playing. Cut to March and the singer and guitarist told me I was out due to musical and personality differences. Lo and behold, their very next gig, the old guy was back in the band. The drummer contacted me to apologise for the rest of the band's behaviour and to let me know that they'd been rehearsing with the other guy for a few weeks before I'd got the heave ho and him wanting back in was the real reason for my departure. Still pisses me off that they couldn't have been honest.

Graeme

glocke · « **Reply #22 on:** November 02, 2014, 02:21:11 AM »

That sucks Graeme...

I would have told those guys to choke on a bag of dicks...

I'm still waiting on the fallout from this, and am still not sure if this was a live audition or not but I sent an email to the two guitar players who invited him that going forward under no circumstances will anyone be sitting in on my stuff again unless it is someone i am personally good friends with.

Honestly, it takes A LOT of balls (or just plain ignorance) to invite a musician up to sit in on another band members spot, and I've had people who I know are good players ask if they can sit in on whatever band I am playing in at the moment and my response is always you need to ask them yourself, it is not my call.

FWIW, I really don't get the whole can i sit in? mentality. I've never asked to sit in with anyone, and while I've been offered the chance to sit in I've always declined for a couple of reasons. First off, if i am out listening to a band Im there to enjoy listening to live music, not to whore myself out, and secondly I simply don't want to interrupt the continuity of the bands show. Only exception to all of this is if it is an open jam.

As for the guy who I had to deal with Friday night, he also had a significant attitude also when I shot him down on a couple of the songs he wanted to play...incredible.

musicians...can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

Glynn · « **Reply #23 on:** November 02, 2014, 02:44:19 AM »

I agree especially the bit about 'when I'm out listening....' I enjoy watching and am always complimentary to other bass players (if appropriate) and try to help them by telling them if their sound is good out front - it needs diplomacy or better still no comment if the sound is bad!!
Hope your gear survived.
Glynn

sonicus · « **Reply #24 on:** November 02, 2014, 05:26:05 AM »

I remember one time that I had been hired as a substitute by the frontman in a band for one gig in a group where the bass player could not make it . All of a sudden that bass player shows up during the last 20 minutes of the final set and just gets up on the stage and tells me let me finish on the last 20 minutes and last tune . NEXT he just puts his hand on the neck of my bass before I even respond to his request! I noticed that he had many rings on the fingers of both of his hands, a chain around his neck and a large belt buckle. My response was OK ___take off all of your rings , your chain around your neck and all of your rings and your belt with that buckle before you handle my bass I said it in a low tone of voice and with a large smile on my face . Next with his eyes in disbelief of what he had just heard me say, he just threw his hands up in the air ,turned around and walked away off the stage. _____Needless to say, I was never called back for that sub job but that moment was priceless indeed , indeed ! ... ... ...

lbpesq · « **Reply #25 on:** November 02, 2014, 09:58:13 AM »

Great story, Wolf. If the guy was really about music rather than image, one would think he would understand your more than reasonable request and remove the hardware, no problem.

And when I have been invited to sit in, it has always been in addition to the other guitar player(s). I've never replaced a band member in that no one has ever left the stage to make a spot for me. Of course this usually works better for guitarists than for bassists. (unless the band is playing Spinal Tap's Big Bottom lol).

Bill, tgo