Author Topic: How About a Humor Thread?  (Read 104294 times)

jazzyvee

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #705 on: March 09, 2026, 12:18:55 PM »
Good one.
I'm going to need some help.  Never followed Debby Harry. ???
One of Blondie's biggest hits was "The Tide Is High".

Peter
Originally written and performed by John Holt and his band The Paragons.
The sound of Alembic is medicine for the soul!
http://www.alembic.com/info/fc_ktwins.html

cozmik_cowboy

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #706 on: March 09, 2026, 03:58:08 PM »
Good one.
I'm going to need some help.  Never followed Debby Harry. ???
One of Blondie's biggest hits was "The Tide Is High".

Peter
Originally written and performed by John Holt and his band The Paragons.

Not familiar; I'll check them out.
Thanks!

Peter
"Is not Hypnocracy no other than the aspiration to discover the meaning of Hypnocracy?  Have you heard the one about the yellow dog yet?"
St. Dilbert

"If I could explain it in prose, I wouldn't have had to write the song."
Robt. Hunter

cozmik_cowboy

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #707 on: March 10, 2026, 08:34:08 PM »
When I die, I want my ashes pressed into a record.
That's my vinyl request.

Peter
"Is not Hypnocracy no other than the aspiration to discover the meaning of Hypnocracy?  Have you heard the one about the yellow dog yet?"
St. Dilbert

"If I could explain it in prose, I wouldn't have had to write the song."
Robt. Hunter

cozmik_cowboy

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #708 on: March 12, 2026, 06:04:25 AM »
"Eat your breakfast."
"Yes, Mother Road."

Peter
"Is not Hypnocracy no other than the aspiration to discover the meaning of Hypnocracy?  Have you heard the one about the yellow dog yet?"
St. Dilbert

"If I could explain it in prose, I wouldn't have had to write the song."
Robt. Hunter

DistillaMatto

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #709 on: March 12, 2026, 09:08:12 AM »
"Eat your breakfast."
"Yes, Mother Road."

Peter
My mother lives near Flagstaff AZ. Always happy to see some route 66 humor.

lbpesq

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #710 on: March 13, 2026, 09:55:38 AM »
R.I.P.

cozmik_cowboy

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #711 on: March 13, 2026, 10:02:59 AM »
Talk about bad luck......

Peter
"Is not Hypnocracy no other than the aspiration to discover the meaning of Hypnocracy?  Have you heard the one about the yellow dog yet?"
St. Dilbert

"If I could explain it in prose, I wouldn't have had to write the song."
Robt. Hunter

cozmik_cowboy

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #712 on: March 14, 2026, 08:17:56 AM »
"Is not Hypnocracy no other than the aspiration to discover the meaning of Hypnocracy?  Have you heard the one about the yellow dog yet?"
St. Dilbert

"If I could explain it in prose, I wouldn't have had to write the song."
Robt. Hunter

lbpesq

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #713 on: March 14, 2026, 09:13:38 AM »

lbpesq

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #714 on: March 14, 2026, 09:15:10 AM »
Gotta watch for those damn mathematicians!

lbpesq

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #715 on: March 14, 2026, 09:39:11 AM »
Just say “no”!

cozmik_cowboy

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #716 on: March 14, 2026, 12:52:53 PM »
https://twitter.com/i/status/2032474526487834628


Peter




Don’t get it.  Is there supposed to be sound?

Bill, tgo

Yeah - look for the speaker with the x by it to unmute, I think.

Peter
"Is not Hypnocracy no other than the aspiration to discover the meaning of Hypnocracy?  Have you heard the one about the yellow dog yet?"
St. Dilbert

"If I could explain it in prose, I wouldn't have had to write the song."
Robt. Hunter

edwardofhuncote

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #717 on: March 14, 2026, 01:10:29 PM »
Gotta watch for those damn mathematicians!


Not really funny. Well, it is now, but wasn't at the time. When I was in Operator training, I took a class at Dabney Lancaster Community College, it was a math/calc. class that was supposed to help me get over a severe math block I'd had since high school. I knew I'd never pass the liscensure board exam without getting a handle on the college-,level math and chemistry. Anyway, the crazy old man that taught the class was a career U.S. Navy man, with the true vocabulary of Sailor. He held Class 1 or A Water and Wastewater liscenses in every State from Florida to New York. He was 83 at the time, and was still working. He wouldn't even call you by name. He called you by whatever town you were from. He was that guy. He'd stare me down every morning and bellow; HEY VINTON, YOU AIN'T GOTTA' GOTTDAM CLUE DO YA'?! YOU MIGHT AS WELL THROW THEM BOOKS IN THE TRASH AND GET BACK DOWN THERE DIGGIN' DITCHES BOY, THAT'S ALL YOU EVER GONNA' MOUNT TO!! Then he'd chuckle sadistically, and shake his head.

After about a semester of that old man hollering at me, I was either too scared to fail, or too determined I was gonna' make him eat it. Either way, I didn't have a math block anymore. We had to solve for volume of circular basins and cylindrical, even conical storage tanks all the time. His standing rule was to carry out Pi to four decimal places.

So to this day, it's still 3.1416

On the last day of class, (if you made through there) he gave you a handshake and his card, and asked you to call when you got your liscense. I went in person. They led me down a hall to his office at the Plant. No Smoking in public buildings by this time was a standard rule... signs everywhere. On his desk was an old glass ashtray with a mound of butts. I looked at it and grinned. He bellowed- "WHAT'RE THEY GONNA' DO VINTON, FIRE MY ASS?! I think he was 92 when I heard he had died. And was still working.

peoplechipper

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #718 on: Yesterday at 09:02:55 PM »
good you broke the math block, I have those too, and I have 1st year engineering; was trying to get my mtn. bike company going and everyone in the biz said you only need 1st year, then you know which books to look in, and it's true, but I don't have a bike company anymore; a long story and not funny, so ignore this and get back to funny!

cozmik_cowboy

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Re: How About a Humor Thread?
« Reply #719 on: Yesterday at 09:31:28 PM »
Math block? Me???
When I was a substitute teacher, I found I can teach math up to about 5th grade.  After that......

Now, when subbing at the high school, I taught everything; chemistry, art, PE, Spanish for native speakers (4 semesters of college Spanish; 3 As & a B.  I can manage "Sí", "No", "Una cervaza, por favor", and something really rude about your mother, but yep - Spanish For Native Speakers).....), you name it; but even when I had a history class, it was "Here's the film you'll be showing."
Except this one math teacher, who would give me things to teach. Had me teach an algebra class once; I recall it as Advanced Placement, but someone told there's no such thing as AP algebra.  Maybe not in their school system.
I took attendance, then said "Look, the last time I took Algebra 1 was during the first Nixon Administration.  It was my second try.  I passed with a D-.  I got nothin' for you; help each other."
Best behaved class I had, and they did, in fact, help each other.


There are very good reasons I'm an historian - not all having to do with history.


But even I am appalled by things like the cashier a few months ago who told me to tap my card or phone; looked stunned when I handed her a $10 bill.  Pulled out her stupidphone to figure change from a 10 on $6.75.  And got it wrong.  And the answer was on her register screen
Now get off my lawn!


Peter (who wonders why every time he does a cut & paste then posts, he has go back and fix it, because the C&P part has changed to a font size so small it's just dots)
« Last Edit: Yesterday at 09:33:50 PM by cozmik_cowboy »
"Is not Hypnocracy no other than the aspiration to discover the meaning of Hypnocracy?  Have you heard the one about the yellow dog yet?"
St. Dilbert

"If I could explain it in prose, I wouldn't have had to write the song."
Robt. Hunter