The lowdown on the hoedown that's goin' down in sound town

[ed_zeppelin]

I used to keep pencils in coffee cups, until it went to the doctor for these horrible stabbing pains I got in my eyes every time I drank coffee. I didn't know you were supposed to alternate between the pencils and coffee. (I figured something was up when people kept commenting on the huge freckles showing up on my face, and I don't have any freckles.)

[ed_zeppelin]

Elwood! I must have this guitar.  

  Not so much to play it, but to hear what it sounds like. I was just referring to Blue Man Group in another thread, and I'm reminded of how they use boxes of Capt. Crunch as percussion instruments. Like that.   Back in the 90s I dropped a set of Hondo pickups in our bands guitarist's axe. To this day he has no idea where they came from. Hell, I don't know where they came from! only that I'd snagged them off a fifty-dollar Hondo that had imploded or something, and right around that time I set a bunch of them up for store stock and the first thing I said when I plugged one into my bench amp was ... Well, let's just say that only modesty and decorum prevent me from repeating it in this august forum, but man them things roared! I couldn't believe it.  So I had umpteen sets in my junk boxes, as these Asian time-bombs self-destructed. And they cranked! it was like you bought three coils of wire and they threw the rest of the guitar in for free (stick it in the trunk, to dig yourself out of snowdrifts).  My favorite part about your guitar is its creator's intentions in the face of his delusions of adequacy. Like the way the grain of the wood is wonky as hell. Yet it works. Graft a chunk of maple on it, then stamp your name in it - badly - so everybody knows who to blame. I love that.  So since you're the only thing standing in the way of true love, what will it take for me to be united with the object of my devotion? I've got tons of nifty stuff to barter. [bats eyelashes]   PS: I stumbled across a video on YouTube that explained this monstrosity:  

  Its a one-off they made for trade shows, to demonstrate their line of strings. A couple of guys whipped it up in their garage or something.

[elwoodblue]

I've thought about sending her to you, just for kicks . If I knew how to ramble it might have come up earlier, I need to find a bucket of mercury or something.
 I'll make some recordings to hold you over.
 
I can't ramble before coffee...so I'll give it another go in an hour.
Mornin'!

[elwoodblue]

The guitarist in my last band had a $79 china strat. So I asked him if I could have it for the week. I put in fender cs-69's at the neck and middle and a SD-5 at the bridge.Traded the guts for a G&L PTB setup I had from an S-500, gold anodized pickguard for the one ply soft plastic one....and spent way to much time dressing the frets and finessing the setup...and of course a light buff with Virtuoso polish.So I put in maybe $250 worth of upgrades plus my time into an 80 dollar 'f-der'. (I listed the china pickups and guts on ebay...they wouldn't sell for $10.)
 
 I don't think I ever heard a thanks guy...he like the gold though.  
 
 My main objective was to get our sound to be better...and it notched out that crappy china pickup sound...so missin accomplished.  
 
 I'm close to finishing a 6 string creation myself.I'm eager to see where it falls on the Cletus scale

[ed_zeppelin]

I had to buy my dad a Taylor 610 acoustic, just so he'd have a decent guitar to swap with me (he's 84 now, this was about twenty years ago). He's the king of cheap guitars. I hated guys like him when I worked retail: spend hours of your time trying every guitar in the store, then settle for a $79 chunk of Asian kindling - insisting on every possible discount (can you throw in a case, strings, strap, picks and a subscription to 'Gerontological Digest?') and then complain about it.  
 
They'd be convinced you ripped them off, just reached into his wallet and took the food out of his mouth (I'll have whatever metaphors you're mixing, barkeep). Then keep coming back to complain that it don't play right, and my fingers turn black and stink to high heaven every time I play that Hank song on it.  
 
[remember your Zig Zigler Zen training, son. Go to your happy place. Play In Dreams in your head, focus on Roy's sweet tenor reaching down into your soul to massage your liver or something. Remember; 'big boys don't hit.' Ommmm]
 
Actually, I loved retail. As you may have noticed, I never argue with anybody, yet remain obnoxious and offensive. It's a fine line. Sort of an Okie version of Gandhi.  
quote:I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. (My favorite Gandhi quote  )
 
My verbosity this fine Sunday morn is because the Foghorn is in Scotland visiting her mother (whom I cheerfully refer to as the hitch from bell) Think Mrs. Doubtfire as played by Sam Kinison, drunk. The only thing we agree on is that her daughter is too good for me. All because I had the unmitigated gall to be born in California, and I don't wear skirts. I mean, kilts.  
 
So yeah, I stayed up too late. I put my feet on the coffee table, and thought about not using a coaster. I left the bathroom light on, just for the ugly fun of it. Turned my amp up to 4! Cuz that's how I roll, baby. I'm a rebel.
 
Ah, coffee. My brane is beginning to work again (despite decades of beating into submission). It puts the lotion in the basket. Got it.

[cozmik_cowboy]

Actually, I loved retail.
 
I am a firm believer in tolerance& understanding - but you, Sir, are a sick, twisted individual.....
 
Peter (Who, OK, yeah, mebbe is prejudiced because his only retail experience was at the Evil Empire).

[ed_zeppelin]

I was lucky to get a job as a schmuck (errands, cleaning, etc.) in a music store when I was a teenager, and it changed my life. The owner, Bob, was hilarious.  
 
He was one of those great jazz guitarists who could play whole songs in what I call Ted Greene six-finger chords, but he never played in front of customers because he didn't want to make anyone feel inadequate.  
 
He never said a negative thing about anybody. I was this horrible long haired geek, and he treated me like I was a star. In fact, he treated everybody who walked through the door as though they were important. And they were.
 
He taught me that sales is about helping people, period. Bad salesmen manipulate people into spending too much for something they don't need. Good salesmen help people get what they want, period. It really is that simple. Guess which ones make the most money?
 
He was sorta classically trained in sales, too. He had a library of books by guys like Zig Ziglar and Dale Carnegie and he delighted in sharing stuff from them, because the whole idea is that if you help people get what they want, the numbers take care of themselves.  
 
He not only made me read How To Win Friends And Influence People, he practiced the points with me until they were branded on my frontal lobe.  
 
BECOME A FRIENDLIER PERSON
1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.  
 
5. Smile.  
 
6. Remember that a person's name is to that person the most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in terms of the other person's interest.
9. Make the other person feel important - and do so sincerely.
10 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
 
WINNING PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING
11. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, You're wrong.  
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
14. Get the other person saying, Yes, yes immediately.
15. Let the other person do most of the talking.
16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
17. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.  
18. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
20. Dramatize your ideas.
 
LEADERSHIP
21. Throw down a challenge.
22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
23. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26. Let the other person save face.
27. Praise the slightest and every improvement. Be lavish in your praise.  
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
 
I'm lucky if 5% of that stuck, but I shudder to think of what I'd be like without Bob's example. For instance, he had picked up a bunch of mannequin hands (!) at a junk shop. We weren't allowed to say; can I help you? to customers, simply because the worst way to begin an interaction with anyone is for one of you to say no. Bob grabbed one of the mannequin hands, walked over and said; need a hand? And handed it to them! Start off with a smile. He was just like that. Everybody adored him. Just a massively fun guy to be around.
 
Imagine the best salesman you can. That was Bob. He was genuinely interested in you. He asked the right questions to find out what you wanted - and he actually listened to you - and helped you get it.

[JuancarlinBass]

In my city (and country) we need tons of salesmen like Bob. I remember being to music stores where nobody is allowed to touch the instruments and equipment DISPLAYED there (Those were FOR DISPLAY, not for PLAY!!!!). Where salesmen not only don't know much about (they know nothing) the equipment being sold there (You' re lucky if one out of four or five guys in the same store even plays an instrument, not to mention being skilled or pro). Long ago, a shop opened, in a small house within a residential area (you had to ring the door as if you were visiting a friend, no sign, no nothing, go figure!), and once inside it was a really nice shop (mostly keyboards based, but they were also a local representative for some big brands and also carried some guitar, bass and percussion equipment), and if you were interested in keyboards (as I certainly was), they handed you a pair of headphones and guided you to a room (probably the original house's dining/living room since it was large) filled with keyboards ( 2 and 3-tier inclined shelves on the walls set up as keyboard stands), and encouraged you to try anyone you like. I did spent long hours on that store (I ended up buying my first synth there too!) and fell in love with their vision. About four years later they had created a music tech school, and I was totally brought over by the idea and ended up being not only a teacher there, but eventually was promoted as assistant director. But what really started it was the original vision of a store where YOU were really important enough as to let YOU do things and decide. Needless to say they sold a lot!. Unfortunately, the shop (and the school) closed in the mid-90s, and even though there have been some attempts at making decent music stores since then, there has been nothing around here that may come even close to that. So... I guess Bob was really right...

[elwoodblue]

Forest,
Do you have any experience with Dave Bunker's instruments?
 
ebay link

[lbpesq]

I have a 70's Bunker Pro Star guitar.  Very unique instrument.  His main innovation is the tension-free neck.  The tension of the strings is borne by a steel rod that runs through the guitar.  No tension on the neck or fretboard.
 
Bill, tgo

[elwoodblue]

I'm curious about the timbre;maybe a scooped tone due to the hollow, or maybe a sort of bloom since there might be more resonances due to the lack of neck compression...or is it all in the fingers like most things  
 Bunker has built some interesting touch instruments too.
 
I made a neck pretensioner to do fretwork on. I'm guessing that wouldn't be necessary on a Bunker TensionFreeNeck.

[cozmik_cowboy]

Bad salesmen manipulate people into spending too much for something they don't need. Good salesmen help people get what they want, period.
 
That's actually the sort of thing that got me fired.
 
Manager (in AM sales meeting): We have a deal on these bottom-line Yamahas; we'll be pushing them all week at $150 - that's a 100% mark up!
 
Starving guitarist (1-2 hrs later): What's the best guitar you can sell me for $150?
 
Me: This 1959 Gibson ES-330-TD.
 
Peter (Who could go on & on, but won't.)

[elwoodblue]

Forest (or anyone else),
 Do you see something wrong here that NEEDS some fixin'?

 
hint:once fixed,it's gonna sound at least twice as good
 
I hate to say it, but I'm gonna have to get the dremel out.
I wouldn't want to send you a guitar that didn't sound good

[elwoodblue]

It's the pickup string alignment for anyone who didn't notice...the pickup routes need to be just a little wider to allow the bottom bobbins to fit right.
 The pickups will be rearranged...presently,the neck is South up,the middle and bridge are North up. Also the pole spacing will be better with the bridge pup going to the neck position,middle to the bridge, and neck to the middle.  
 I think our friend James had more than one Cleatus moment. The negatives from the pickups were grounded with this cool system  
 
 
 
 
 I'm guessing band-aids were an essential part of James' life...unlike electrical tape.
 
 
The Switch for the active boost has been intermittent, I put that on the hit list of things to fix...but...
 
 
 
 
 I might have to cut open the epoxy to fix the switch,curious what else I might find ?!!
(baby doll heads in jello comes to mind)
 
The boost must be 12db or more.It's pretty dramatic,like a really hot wah pedal.  
I think a blend knob would make it usable.Luckily there's a hole.  
 I just need to pop of that brass washer.The black button was a fine tuner screw from a floyd rose assembly.
 
 
So it's on deck to be benched.  
Did  I mention the electronics smell like bandaids??...eewwww :`

[edwardofhuncote]

Pheew. I know that smell... what the heck is it? Those old Gibson parts I have squirreled away smell like that too. Reminds me of an old Lionel train I had as a kid.