Been there, gp. The grief was so painful, I often think I should have jumped in on top of the casket once it was lowered, and let them bury me too. I can tell you that you will outlive that pain, it will over the years recede to a manageable condition, but it will take quite a while. I watched her go down in front of me for 18 months, and it took part of me with her. I'd only thought I'd had my heart broken, but this was a terrible yardstick that dwarfed any previous pains.
My Very Best to You, and you hang in there.
JW
