Sam,
Having played in punk/alternative bands since the early 80s, let me first suggest a thorough physical exam and some sort of serious aerobic workout regimen before you attempt to hang with the punker. I didn't really have enough energy to hammer 8ths and 16ths all night back in the day (so I played melodic lines as a cover), and I know I couldn't do it now. I'd hate to hear from your widow how he went down in a 4-minute flurry of open E notes, with the same painful expression he always had when playing a 4-minute flurry of open E notes... Seriously, though, what she will ultimately come to respect is that you can groove and don't play like Jaco at every turn. At some point she will likely get frustrated by what is often testosterone-driven music and come to appreciate music that simply breathes. Hopefully (for everybody's sake) your son-in-law will have that epiphany too, and will be able to start soaking up some of your wisdom, musical and other...
John
