Alembic Guitars Club
Connecting => Miscellaneous => Topic started by: lbpesq on January 09, 2024, 11:50:09 PM
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Thought it might be fun to have a thread to share some humor.
Bill, tgo
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I'm all in man :D Thanks Bill, tgo 8)
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Inspirational.
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Text so the post will work
Peter
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May have seen this one before…
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The Scream Cat
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LOVE the scream cat!
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Almost posted that one, Bill. I'll do this one instead.
Peter
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May the dilithium crystals be with you!
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Such 'tis in the eye of the beholder, an expression of humour .
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"The inventor of spell check died yesterday. May he roost in piece."
Ken Bruen
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Another funny…
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Peter
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Ouch...
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C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them and after a few drinks, G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second."
A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development." And in fact, E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au naturel. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.
So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.
The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.
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:)
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Mom gave me another Far Side desk calendar this year. These two seem timely...
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So true…
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Mom gave me another Far Side desk calendar this year. These two seem timely...
For me the first one is especially so, having just watched Sweet Dreams, a mostly-bio pic about Patsy Cline.
Peter
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Similar reaction … we just watched “Society of the Snow”. Excellent film, by the way! It’s about the 1972 crash of a plane in the Andes carrying the Uruguayan rugby team. They were stranded in the high mountains for 71 days with a little less than half ultimately surviving. The story involves cannibalism.
It did remind me of a couple of jokes I remember from Leno and Letterman’s monologues when a similar situation was in the news. One noted that “they had options … they did have airplane food!”, while the other questioned how they made decisions: “so, what’s for dinner tonight? We have Mexican, Italian, Chinese …?”
Bill, tgo
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I miss the far side...
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I miss the far side...
When I was Recording Supervisor for the School Of Music at Northern Illinois University (2004-05), I blew that one up to 11X8.5 and taped it to the door of the studio.
As of last fall, it was still there, I'm pleased to note.
Peter
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There's a copy of it taped to the inside of the Harwell-Grice Band's mixer case. And I wrote with a Sharpie pen next to it the quote, "...why doesn't it ever work!?" ~Bob Weir
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Famous Moments in History!
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With apologies to Simon & Garfunkel…
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They come runnin' just as fast as they can, cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man!
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Priorities!
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Blanco Lapin!
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A serious rig.......
Peter
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^ That's great!
so, this would be a Maude-ular synthesizer...
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Another one…
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I missed some of these when they were posted!
Here's one of my recent favorites:
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53478278342_19a23c26ba_z.jpg)
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It’s a cruel world!
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The shrinkage factor.
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:)
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Wait - that can't be right!
Where's their bucket??
Peter
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:D
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only a dollar?
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Go Niners!
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Peter
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:)
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We do have a Tokeland, WA!
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:)
The irony. This afternoon someone mentioned abnormal conditions… my mind immediately went to Abby Normal!
I kept it to myself because I work with a lot of young people, they didn’t understand when I told them how to fix the paper shredder. I said, “just give it the old Fonzerelli”. They were like “huh?”, then I walked over and gave it a light pop with my fist and aaaaayy! 😎
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A thematic pair.
Peter
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We do have a Tokeland, WA!
when i went for a .com job hunt in seattle back in '98 that was the first place we visited after hitting the big time.
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Peter
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This just in:
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Boom, boom, boom, boom
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(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53533966668_43e8fc111b_o.jpg)
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OK, now that Harry's broken that ice:
The difference between religions is largely a matter of degrees of recognition; to wit: Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah, Protestants don't recognize the Pope as head of the church, and Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.
Peter
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You opened the door.
Being of the Jewish persuasion, and married to a lovely Italian lady, I am officially authorized to present the following observation:
Jews and Catholics are basically the same. The only difference being that Jews are born with guilt, Catholics go to school to learn it!
Bill, tgo
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Oh no, what have I done?!! 8)
"A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, 'What is this, a joke?'"
And I post this as a Buddhist minister (in case anyone wasn't aware)
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Well, if clergyhood is an excuse, I'm good - I am, after all. a duly ordained priest in the Church Of The Latter-Day Dude. (www.dudism.com (http://www.dudism.com))
Rev. Cozmik Cowboy (fighting the good fight against human paraquat everywhere!)
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Peter
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A twofer.
Peter
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Ain’t it the truth!
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Who Knew?
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Yep, getting there.
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Peter
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I sat down to play some folks songs, but my left hand seized up; hurt bad and my fingers wouldn't move.
I guess that's what they mean by "minstrel cramps".......
Peter
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Two for a Sunday:
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This morning's Far Side...
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Yea, we had it rough!
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^...from one of the greatest movies of all time! (well, the picture is anyway...)
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A Greek college student got a summer job as a tour guide at the Parthenon. He noticed that every day there were four tall, blond haired, blue eyed men there.
He asked his boss about them and his boss replied, “Those are Sven, Olaf, Ragnar and Lars, the four Norsemen of the Acropolis.”
Peter
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Peter
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Delivered this at work and the young ones didn’t get it.
Do you know which Knight of the Roundtable was the roundest?
Sir Cumference.
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This one might not be as funny if you never saw the list of rules for a fiddle competition... some of them can be tedious.
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Watch out!
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Ooooooh!! Too soon! 😆
At least now I know where pool of future Water Plant Ops will come from. 🙄
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It’s Animal Theme Day!
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Time for a thread drift...
Squirrels. I used to drive very slowly in or out of the little road to the Town of Boones Mill Water Plant. It was situated on the southwestern slope of Cahas Mountain in Franklin County a little south of here, a very rural, peaceful area. A Spring and three drilled Wells fed the Treatment Plant I operated for the Town. I loved working down there... miss it terribly. Anyway, in that little patch of woods there, was a small population of leucistic fox squirrels. It was the first time I had ever seen a white squirrel. Thought I was seeing things. Then I saw it again. And again. One day I asked one of the neighbors about them... they knew all about the oddity. It kinda' became a game, something to look forward to; see if you could spot one... so I'd poke along in WQ-413 scanning the treeline. I figured they had problems enough avoiding being an easy target for the hawks... and the least I could do was give 'em a brake.
*there used to be some spectacular sunrises down there too.
Carry on...
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Keef!
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ok, i'll pitch in
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PSA for ES335 owners:
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I know what I’ve got here…..so no Low Ball offers from flippers!
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Speaking of fires:
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Robert Plant.
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(https://starecat.com/content/wp-content/uploads/watch-robert-plant-while-roger-waters.jpg)
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On a musical note:
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On a musical note:
Muskingum College, where my dad played football - and taught chemistry for 36 years - always played Wooster College for Homecoming. At least until Wooster said "OK, 40-some straight losses is enough; find another patsy!"
But their less-than-powerhouse football program was only part of why; Homecoming had a parade, and they are the Wooster Scots. The band wears (or wore; I'm about half a century out of touch on this....) kilts, and are (were?) led by a bagpipe section.
I have loved bagpipes as long as I can remember!
Peter (who will admit to the possibility of a genetic component to his love as well, his beloved Granny having been a Hepburn)
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NCC-1701
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It may well be fine sci-fi - but if it ain't got Shatner & Nimoy, it ain't Star Trek!
ow get off my lawn!
Peter
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It may well be fine sci-fi - but if it ain't got Shatner & Nimoy, it ain't Star Trek!
ow get off my lawn!
Peter
Same.
Capt. Kirk getting into fights with aliens. Dribble of “blood” out of the corner of his mouth and ripped shirt. That my friends is REAL tv. 😃
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Pet humor.
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NCC-1701D
Fixt that Starfleet Registry for ya'... ;)
Come on into the latter-third of the 24th Century, Coz. It's just as cheezy. ;D
~Gregory (who is still bitter about Star Trek [yes, the original series] replacing Batman in his daily entertainment programming...)
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So True!
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So True!
Yeah!
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~Gregory (who is still bitter about Star Trek [yes, the original series] replacing Batman in his daily entertainment programming...)
To paraphrase Homer Simpson: Julie Newmar in a leather jumpsuit - mmmmm! (Which is to say nothing against either Lee Meriweather or Eartha Kitt - though none quite rise to the level of Diana Rigg.....)
Peter
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Remember MNF?
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S’cuse me!
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Woo woo
Bill, tgo
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OK - but what was the redacted line?
Inquiring heads want to know!
Peter
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I have no idea, but it’s likely something that would have prevented me from posting it in the first place!
Bill, tgo
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I have no idea, but it’s likely something that would have prevented me from posting it in the first place!
Bill, tgo
Likely, yes. The redacted one is political in nature and rather divisive. The humour kind of gets lost in the process.
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How do you get a bass player's eyes to light up? stick a flashlight in his ear...
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Ain’t it the truth!
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😆
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Peter
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"The one thing that happens when you start writing songs on the banjo, I've found, is it's very hard to get through an entire song with out killing someone. It's just the way it is. I'd never killed anyone in any of my songs before, but now that I got a clawhammer banjo, I'm killin' people left and right."
Joey Ryan; The Milk Carton Kids
Peter
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A modern question.
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Here’s one…
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Here’s todays….
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Dinner anyone?
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I just smoke two joints in the morning, and I'm good all day!
Peter (who in all his truckdriver years never, alas, was given a reefer to pull.....)
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A Classic.
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Old guy walks out on his porch early one morning on the farm, and tells his old hound to get up, let's go. Dog just lays there, doesn't even raise an eye to him. Tells him again, nudges him with his foot, nothing. Now he's worried.
Calls the vet, who tells him he just happens to be heading out that way to check on a horse, he'll stop by.
Vet gets there, walks up on the porch, doesn't like what he's seeing. Tells the Old guy he can run a quick test.
Goes out to the car where he has a big yellow tomcat in a carrier. Reaches in, grabs the tabby by the scruff of the neck and they walk back up on the porch. Bends over, holds the now hissing and squirming cat right in the dog's face. Nothing. 'I'm sorry, he's gone.' Puts the cat back in the car.
Old guy says he hates to lose him, but thanks the vet and asks him how much he owes him.
'525 dollars.'
'WHAT??? How on EARTH do I owe you $525?'
'Well, the House Call is $25, and the Cat Scan is $500.'
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Just to make sure, the Vet again went to his car, soon returning with a Retriever on a leash. He brought his dog up to the farmer’s hound, allowing the Retriever to sniff the hound. The Vet then brought his dog back to the car, returned, and told the farmer, “that will be another $250 for the Lab report!”
… rim shot …
Bill, tgo
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Red Alert, Red Alert!
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This just in…..
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We have nothing to fear but Chuck himself!
Peter
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How touching....
Peter
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This just in…..
Actually, unless it’s an exceptionally hot day, if you drop a lit cigarette into a puddle of gasoline, the cigarette will go out.
Bill, tgo
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Hey, it’s about music!
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Yeah, I also sent this to my sister (who gets lost in our hometown of 800 people) and my beloved (who makes my sister look like Magellan.......).
Peter
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I can relate .As my father navigated the oceans professionally by old school standard as per the stars , yet his son has a bereft sense of direction like a dog who chases his own tail in circles .
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What do you say to a bass player in a suit?
"The defendant will please rise."
Peter
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Alas! 'Tis a pity,as such alignment of astral bodies shalt impede mine efforts of success, of the paramount endeavour at the doorsteps of existential demise. Such a warning decreed to I must comply ,in dire seriousness.I shall shelter and await the new Moon . Mine intuition I must trust .Therefore I shall not exit mine proven safe abode till the next Full Moon💚.
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Now I need to play Pink Floyd.
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Stay in school!
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So true.
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It's your fault!
Peter
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Big problem with alternatively powered vehicle.
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Adulterers want to have their Kate and Edith, too.
Peter (who does, in fact, realize that one comes under the heading of "classics" - but has beating at his brain all day, and he had to let it out)
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How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None - hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in Volkswagons.
Peter
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Time to get out of the kitchen?
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Time to get out of the kitchen?
As to kitchens and AZ; every time I hear "But it's a dry heat!" I respond "So's an oven; doesn't mean want to sit in one."
Peter (who will take 45° over 75° any day! That's °F, all you metric/Celsius types over there)
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Formerly Known As Prince.
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8)
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What do a Texas tornado, a Florida hurricane, and a West Virginia divorce have in common?
Someone's fixin' to lose a trailer.
What do you call a West Virginian who raise both sheep and goats?
Bisexual.
Peter (who did, yes, grow up in SE OH, and thus knows many West Virginian jokes - quite a few of which he learned from one of his 2 grandfathers from the Mountain State)
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Needs a 9v battery and on/off switch
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Get Yer Yayas Out!
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Guy Should Plead Not Guilty by Reason of Stupidity!
Bill, tgo
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So true:
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Wow!
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Danger Danger Will Robinson!
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So true:
My old buddy Tony used to say (about his 25' Grady White) B-O-A-T... Bring Out Another Thousand. Tammy said it was more than that. I wonder what she ever did with that thing?
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I was coming home from the gig over in Troutville last night, and hit a pig in the road. The pig ran off, and it was late, so I didn't stop or anything. Served him right. A pig ain't got no business being in the middle of the road that shade of night anyway. This morning, the State Troopers woke me up knocking on the door... asking if I had hit a pig on the road last night. I did, I said... but it was late, and the pig run off, so I didn't stop and tell anybody. How'd you guys know about it?
The pig squealed on you.
Okay. I'm done here... ;D
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… rim shot …
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Truth!
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Hey, I remember those girls! (And I miss them.....)
Peter
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Ummmmm - OK.
Peter
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Not really a joke... just something I saw go
down up the other day. Looked like a terrible idea. I took a couple pics and left the fallout zone. Not having a hardhat or an umbrella on me.
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Not really a joke... just something I saw go down up the other day. Looked like a terrible idea. I took a couple pics and left the fallout zone. Not having a hardhat or an umbrella on me.
kinda split on that one. it looks like the rigger actually got it mostly right. if it was my load, i woulda had a pallet underneath it and closed the door so nothing's spilling out. wouldn't stand that close to it, either. i can tell ya that wouldn't pass muster on a sturgeon job site. kinda falls under the category of just because you can doesn't mean ya should:
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I think it's really cute that the 2nd guy up apparently thinks that if the smaller forklift starts to fall, he can hold it on there.....
Any job I worked, that would have gotten everyone involved fired - and the union could not save them.
Peter (who will let those who lack a close familiarity with forklifts know that that one weighs approximately 4 Fleetwood Broughams)
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spent a lot of time on my last job in a commercal electrical fab warehouse. saw a lot of forklift mishaps. could spin some yarns.
so if you number the participants starting at the guy operating the forklift on hte ground, it appears that the dude #2 has positioned himself between the load and the fork mast, setting himself up to be crushed if hte load slips. dude #2 also appears to be operating lift #2 from outside the operator's seat (a lot of forklifts won't let ya do that, they probably bypassed the interlock), dude #3 is probably out there to help counterbalance lift #2 against the weight of lift #3 and whatever that is they're moving.
...know that that one weighs approximately 4 Fleetwood Broughams)
to say a forklift is heavy is putting it mildly especially a big commercial one. note also the complete lack of PPE on any of the participants. my old safety guy would have a stroke if he saw that. oh yeah.
back to the humor. i'm spent.
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Still going strong!
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𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲 ;)
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Because Star Trek is Real!
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Hmmmmm......
Peter (who also always wondered at the signs that say "No Smoking Propane Tanks")
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Found in an e-mail from my dad:
Due to my time alone, I finished three books yesterday… and believe me, that's a lot of coloring.
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What did our parents do to kill boredom before the Internet? I asked my 16 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
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I tried donating blood today… NEVER AGAIN! Too many stupid questions:
Whose blood is it? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?
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There's nothing scarier than that split second when you lose your balance in the shower and you think, "They are going to find me naked."
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Today I melted an ice cube with my mind just by staring at it. It took a lot longer than I thought it would.
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Struggling to get your wife's attention? Just sit down and look comfortable.
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Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay for the 22nd time.
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I grew up with Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now there's no jobs, no cash and no hope. Please don't let anything happen to Kevin Bacon.
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Shout-out to everyone who can still remember their childhood phone number but can't remember the password they created yesterday. You are my people.
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One minute you're young and fun. And next, you're turning down the stereo in your car to see better.
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Think you're old and you will be old. Think you are young and you will be delusional.
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When I offer to wash your back in the shower, all you have to say is 'yes' or 'no'. Not all this "Who are you and how did you get in here?" nonsense.
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Not in jail, not in a mental hospital, not in a grave… I’d say I'm having a good day.
Peter
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Shower panic is too relatable!
Been exercising more, it helps with my balance.
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Walmart…..step aside…
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Took Ono visits the Enterprise!
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Of Keef!
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Wings did a concert in Chicago, and someone isolated and taped Linda's mic (which was not in the mix - for good reason). It was leaked, and a number of DJs played it until her brother (a Chicago lawyer) hit them with a cease and desist.
Not only did she sing it "Hey dude....", her ability to hit pitch and sweetness of voice made Yoko sound like Alison Krause.
Peter (who will also argue that Linda had a lot more to do with breaking up the Beatles than Yoko)
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Yeah, it's a bad one - but I won't take it Bach!
Peter
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Dad!
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Shooop shooop
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Ah, the good old days!
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Ah, the good old days!
But they chose the wrong band to use for that meme.....
Peter
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Wisdom
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Mountains come out of the sky……
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There you go! ;)
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I want that! don't know what I'd do with the souls though; anyone got recipes?
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I want that! don't know what I'd do with the souls though; anyone got recipes?
Dust them with flour, plenty of butter, on medium to high heat until a nice nutty brown colour. Don't forget to enjoy the smells.
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Some Dead Humour i just spotted on FB
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True.
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Uncanny!
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Uncanny!
Yeah, that one just got forwarded to a couple of players I know.....
Peter
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R.I.P.
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And they said I was mad......
Peter
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This about sums it up:
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😀
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Text to allow me to post.
Peter
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Starting young!
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Funny like a bunny eating carrot flavoured honey .
Anything contrived on point just to make some money.
Amerikan in America mine perceptions doth relate summation .
Thus on point the lies with ties illustrate creation.😎 .
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I'm going have to call shenanigans on that video; while the video-within-the-video guy isn't wrong, it is obvious from how he is telling us "aboot" American things that he is, in fact, from our wonderful neighbor to the north. Yes, you can catch a hint of that in places like northern MN, AK, etc., but I have never heard anyone from anywhere in the US with that strong an "aboot".
Peter
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Hello Peter , I hope that all is well with you !
German was my first language and I can tell you that the first fellow in the video has quite a German accent ! However you might be correct about the second fellow .
:)
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We're doing all right, Wolf, hope all is well with you and Mrs. Sonicus.
Yeah, the German accent is pretty clear......
Peter
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We now return you to your regularly scheduled humor thread.
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Memes for good humour and laughs . 8) This reminds me of my employment at CBS Specialty Stores in the early 1980s .
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Why you shouldn’t wait till retirement to start traveling.
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Me, hard at work in my youth:
Peter
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Didn't take right; never mind.
Peter
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Ok then…..
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I'm guessing from the "Touch" days....
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/hvFv2fpIS68?feature=share (https://www.youtube.com/shorts/hvFv2fpIS68?feature=share)
Peter
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So true.
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“The Happy Hippie Group”?
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Ain't it the truth?
Peter (whose first thought on seeing "Happy Hippie group" was an AA meeting)
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Maybe try eBay?
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"Scuse me, Occifer - could you spare a dime?"
Peter (who has known for over half a century that cops have the best drugs)
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Gonna listen to some BS today!
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Truth.
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Outside the town of Weed, California.
And I thought they go together!
Bill, tgo
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Well, considering that first college I attended was, in 1968, dubbed by Time magazine "The marijuana Mecca of the Midwest", I concur, counselor.
Peter (who, a few years later, did nothing to jeopardize the title.......)
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I sure hope the mothership does not use this method of checking the quality of the brass used in their basses. ;-) 8) ;D ???
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Took a moment…..
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Another truth.
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Kind of like the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver.
The drunk driver comes to a stop sign ... and blows right through it without even slowing down.
The stoned driver comes to a stop sign ... comes to a full stop ... and waits for it to turn green.
Bill, tgo
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The stoned driver comes to a stop sign ... comes to a full stop ... and waits for it to turn green
so as the self-appointed full-time resident stoomer ( stoned boomer) i will point out that driving stoned is a violation of the House o' BeenDown's drug consumption policy an is severely frowned upon
🗿
carry on gents.
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This now applies.
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If you replace your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 90% of what little joy is left in your life.
Peter (who just poured his 2nd cup of The Magic Bean)
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🫣
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I like espresso, but it has no effect on me, I get no boost from any coffee; on the upside, I don't need it, but no boost for me...
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A couple of good ones.
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There is a lot happening in the yarn vest picture! :D
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I have a scarry recollection of my mother going through a knitting phase. The photo also looks like the mid to late 70s, which was about the time my mother went through that phase.
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Doh!
Peter
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Know where I can get a BIG capo?
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Ewwwwwww
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One of my Favs.
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A quote from a fellow banana hating friend.
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A quote from a fellow banana hating friend.
Bad timing. I just had a banana in my cereal for breakfast. Ha ha.
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with ya on the bananas, hated them as a kid, and still do...
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Me too. 🤮🤮🤮
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with ya on the bananas, hated them as a kid, and still do...
i eat a banana before a bicycle ride, then i stuff the skin in a hollow bone for ruby the dog. that way she doesn't miss me when im gone 🗿🐕😍
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… with a little help from my friends …
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Wonder if Jelly Roll saw this?
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Which one are you?
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picky...
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Fingers... (sometimes Picky)
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Watch out!
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Happy Halloween! (Brings back memories)
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Happy Halloween! (Brings back memories)
How about 2 of those in flight cases, amp rack, 2 sides of PA cabs, a piano (not an electronic keyboard, a piano), and 2 regular venues on the 2nd floor; up & down the fire escape?
Same places with a later band with 2 racks, more & bigger cabs, and a B-3 w/2 Leslies - all 3 in flight cases.
Yeah, I've had 4 back surgeries........
Peter
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Ain’t it the truth!
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Unless you have roadies :-)
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Ain't it the truth?
Peter
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Check!
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It seems I need to type something before it will let me put in a link - like this one: https://www.thefarside.com/2024/11/08/1 (https://www.thefarside.com/2024/11/08/1)
Peter
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It seems I need to type something before it will let me put in a link - like this one: https://www.thefarside.com/2024/11/08/1 (https://www.thefarside.com/2024/11/08/1)
Peter
Classic Far Side.
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It seems I need to type something before it will let me put in a link - like this one: https://www.thefarside.com/2024/11/08/1 (https://www.thefarside.com/2024/11/08/1)
Peter
Classic Far Side.
Aren't they all?
Peter
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Not for vegans!
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Clever!
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Love: luv; (noun): Being willing to die for someone you, yourself, want to kill......
Peter
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Whoda thunk it?
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Seriously funny!
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I love mom & pop music stores!
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I hadn't thought about it until now, but we don't have a drum room at Fret Mill Music anymore. Used to... it was on the third floor. For the obvious reason. I don't know what's up there now. I'll have to sneak up there and see. Last time I was up there, they were using the space to shoot demo videos.
*in the spirit of the humor thread, here is one of those aforementioned videos, from the third floor of Fret Mill Music. (no good guitars were harmed here...)
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Nice playing and singing, nice guild too! I didn’t see that ending coming 😊
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I hadn't thought about it until now, but we don't have a drum room at Fret Mill Music anymore. Used to... it was on the third floor. For the obvious reason. I don't know what's up there now. I'll have to sneak up there and see. Last time I was up there, they were using the space to shoot demo videos.
*in the spirit of the humor thread, here is one of those aforementioned videos, from the third floor of Fret Mill Music. (no good guitars were harmed here...)
That was some great playing and nice trick at the end. Sad to see he passed away. I wish I could hit like on the past four humor threads. "Drums too" ha ha.
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I wasn't going to mention the sad part. Jody was a good one, and loved a good prank. I gigged with him quite a few times over the years. His passing was rather untimely.
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True?
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you forgot the cats...
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… no offense intended, but it is funny.
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Found on Tony Levin’s page.
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… while we’re on the subject:
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Fun with words:
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Signs of the times:
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Real-life humor: As you drive out of Skagway, AK, on Dyea Road, can turn off on (among others) Della Street or Lois Lane.
Peter
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Do they have a Margaret Court?
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Those are the onliest 2 I recollect - but I think there are more (Google Maps doesn't show any of them; pretty small streets).
Peter
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… the season to be jolly!
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Have yourself an Empirical Christmas!
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Fast food wars!
Bill, tgo
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Guitar-playing buddy sent me this one...
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Guitar-playing buddy sent me this one...
That's from Philadelphia Luthier's Tools & Supplies; they'll make you a poker chip with whatever you want on it for $11.99. If I ever get a Les Paul, I'm having one made that says "Weed' and "Blow".
Peter (who hasn't ruled out putting on his Sheraton)
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I'm thinking "Sativa" for the treble PU and "indica" for the bass PU.
Bill, tgo
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Peter
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Ain’t it the truth!
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Apparently it's a whole series of PSAs, eh?
Peter
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:)
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I left a b/w of ^that one^ pinned to the corkboard over the desk in my old Control Room. There's a couple of my favorites pinned up there, come to think of it.
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(http://club.alembic.com/blob:https://club.alembic.com/b9367b77-b510-448a-b6e5-28ea2978ac89)
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:-)
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;D
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:o :o :o
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"Keep me in time and in tune" the best mantra ever.
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I suppose we have a disclaimer now that states “please don’t wash your Tide Pods down with WD40!
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I'll just leave this here this morning...
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Bass Solo at 1:10... 😄
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....Now I'm gonna have to step up my Classico solo moves! ;D 8)
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I'm afraid you and I are in the same boat Gary... our necks lack the skeletal structure for those moves anymore. 😆😆
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I have seen that video before (and may have posted it on "What Are You Listening To"); I love it!
Peter
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Reminds me of a three stooges episode. Who was first, this band, or the stooges?
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Well, true story time. It was a serious band, and I did in fact laugh so hard that I had to get out of the chair to breathe. One of my friends and long-time musical mentors had Christmas Eve dinner with the son of this bassist. He sent me the video this morning. It turns out, his technique was actually studied, and taught for a time at Julliard.
*there is no way in this world I'd have gotten through that tune of I'd had the job of one of those ladies, backing. No. Way.
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Really enjoyed that.
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...and then there's this:
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One of my all-time favorite Stooges routines! Thanks for posting.
Bill, tgo
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The guy playing the solo at 1:10 might disagree with Larry Graham about who invented slap bass...
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Speaking of the alphabet song, if you're a fan of weird Oingo Boingo / Elfmans / Kipper Kids stuff, check out their 1980 film Forbidden Zone, where they do an of-the-time-but-nonetheless-sort-of-offensive version of the 3 Stooges' Alphabet Song. Do a YT search for Forbidden Zone in Color: 'Alphabet Song' for that clip.
Very strange and enjoyable film, too, produced/directed by Richard Elfman, and featuring Danny Elfman, Herve Villechaize, Susan Tyrell, the Mystic Knights, the Kipper Kids, Viva, Joe Spinell, among others. The Oingo Boingo crowd used to come to my studio in Venice in the early 80s to record and hang out. Always fun having them there.
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So this is how y’all got started!
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I have absolutely slept in my upright bass case.
(What?! It was cold!) 8)
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Scrooge Trivia
Bill, tgo
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Royal mechanics.
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Where no man has gone before … Oops!
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Does make one wonder…
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Does make one wonder…
Those were the sacrifices they made to own the Gibson and Martin.
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spotted whilst walking hte dog. apparently kids these days have never seen a standard transmission 8)
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spotted whilst walking hte dog. apparently kids these days have never seen a standard transmission 8)
I think I saw that car last month; were you walking in the Denver/Littleton/Conifer area?
Peter
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I think I saw that car last month; were you walking in the Denver/Littleton/Conifer area?
well i hope you weren't tailgaiting it ::) that was actually two blocks from my house parked in the city floral parking lot on colfax and kearney. a lovely part of town, ya oughta stop by for a bowl and some bassage if yer in hte 'hood.
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I think I saw that car last month; were you walking in the Denver/Littleton/Conifer area?
well i hope you weren't tailgaiting it ::) that was actually two blocks from my house parked in the city floral parking lot on colfax and kearney. a lovely part of town, ya oughta stop by for a bowl and some bassage if yer in hte 'hood.
Tailgate? Never! Even before my 30-some years as a professional driver in one capacity or another, I was taught properly; 1 car length for each 10 MPH.
This trip the place I was in Denver itself was I-70; might have been there, though. We get out there once or twice a year (grandkids, doncha know).
Peter
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:)
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We all know one …
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OUCH!!!
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Not what it appears to be!
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I would not be bummed about that bait and switch, though I'm more of a cat guy...
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Here’s one for the Scroll Shop Greg!
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More
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I'll dump a pile tonight.
Peter
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Kinda brings a new meaning to “breadboard!”
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For the saxophone players amongst us. :) :D ::)
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Here’s one for the Scroll Shop Greg!
OMG. 😳 You know what.... it'll happen one day! 😄
Just when I thought I had seen every kind of improvisation in a bass, I get an upright in yesterday with a square soundpost. Not just like a piece of square tomato stake cut to fit, noooo... this was a a piece of maple, with bridge feet-like contours made onto each end, and somewhat fit to the inner surfaces. It had to take someone a good while to make this doohicky, and I'll salute the idea and effort involved, if not endorse it. Thank goodness it wasn't glued (or screwed) in, because I'll be replacing it later this week with a boring old round, spruce length.
Sorta' funny, but not a joke:
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Music-related:
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Some that made me chuckle recently.
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That is the question.
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Thought that was going to be catastrophic. It turned out purrfect.
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I think this has shown up here recently - but sans the caption.
Peter
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;)
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So many joke possibilities... ;D
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agreed...Les Claypool had a bass banjo made, I can imagine it being obnoxious sounding. I've threatened to make the nastiest instrument by putting a snare on a banjo, but haven't done it yet; probably illegal anyway...Tony.
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I haven't heard one like that big-azz Gibby, but Gold Tone makes one with a more human-scaled pot that i think sounds decent:
And I guy I know has one made by mounting the neck from a doghouse on a kick drum; sounds really cool.
Peter
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Nothing wrong with a little self-deprecating humor!
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:-)
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What a fool believes.
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What a fool believes.
Didn't your people build the moon to launch your space lasers from?
Peter
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Somebody I used to work with sent me this one yesterday... perhaps it could apply to a few folks here?
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For the low end crowd:
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:)
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From my friend Bob "The Emperor Of All Things Musical" Chamberlin (as the bass player used to introduce him; in the 2 bands with the 3 of us he scratched the surface of his talents by singing, as well as playing lead guitar, tenor sax, flute, keys, and, IIRC, harmonica).
Peter
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Let Rover blow! 😆
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Hey, it’s jazz!
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How about this?
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Great moments in music history:
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For our friends abroad, Whetherspoons is a chain of pubs here in England.
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😄 Glad to know "peein' in a fan" is internationally funny, and not just an Appalachian American expression.
Since we've already gone to the loo this morning... here's a great prank.
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Well, I'd go with a good band, but.....
Peter
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Well, I'd go with a good band, but.....
there's a permanent zep ban at the house o'BeenDown for a very good reason 8)
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Yikes
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Oh, the horror!
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And I thought it was strange to find it on drive-up ATM......
Peter
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Luthiers, too, can suffer from dyslexia!
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Ohh no, that's messed-up! 😵💫
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:)
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Sorry if I've posted this one before, but current news has brought it to mind - and the classics never get old.....
What do a Texas tornado, a Florida hurricane, and a West Virginia divorce have in common?
Someone's fixin' to lose a trailer.
Peter
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that 'Gibson?' looks like the head's gonna burst...
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It was even worse with the Robo-Tuners.
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Almot put this under "What Are You Listening To?", but decided this was a slightly better fit; Steven Lynch:
Peter
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Aging rock stars.
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Aging rock stars.
Huh?
Peter (who still does lame soundman humor even now that he actually is half deaf.....)
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… and, of course, more cowbell!
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And some more
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More from Bizarro
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🤣
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something along the lines of "you're mistake makes me luagh"
i dunno
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Music related.
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Tips, indeed. 8)
We used to play this game during set break in one place... if anyone could hit our tip jar with any bill of US currency from the balcony seats, we gave them a CD. It worked pretty well on the tourists.
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Happy 420!
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At least two sides to every story …
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:)
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Ain’t it the truth!
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When I was at GC in '83-'84, I got to do sound for a Tama clinic; Billy Cobham on his signature kit (which looked much like the one on the left) and a guy named Dom Famularo on (I'm pretty sure at Billy's insistence) a 5-piece kit.
Dom blew Billy well & truly into the weeds.
Peter
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Kieth Moon went to a Billy Cobham clinic, and after attacking the kit for awhile Billy said "I don't know what the hell you're doing, but don't stop"
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Text humor
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What makes the white smoke?
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😆
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Yeah, i just sent the Dogg on to numerous fine folk.
Peter
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https://www.thefarside.com/2025/05/10/1 (https://www.thefarside.com/2025/05/10/1)
Peter
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https://www.thefarside.com/2025/05/10/1 (https://www.thefarside.com/2025/05/10/1)
Peter
Nothing beats the Far Side. Thank you.
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Just a random thought - representative of the kind of crap that runs through my "mind" all the freakin' time:
If I were to start a school for fingernail stylists, i think I'd have to call it Emery University.
Peter
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Brings to mind the old cheerleader routine for teams of Norfolk University in Virginia:
“We don’t smoke, we don’t drink. Norfolk! Norfolk!”
Bill, tgo
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This charming young lady has a whole channel of short vids (wish they were full length!) of classic songs redone with lyrics that are.....well, this is by far the cleanest.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/WKVQj3mfNQw?feature=share
Peter (who may be in luv)
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nice!!
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Considered filing this under the What Are You Listening To, especially given the bluegrass bent over there as of late, but decided here instead; enjoy.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=3212364609075651&ref=sharing
Peter
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Poor kitty.
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Works for me!
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👍🏼
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Works for me!
Yep.
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One from the dark ages.
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… at first glance …
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Udderly amusing!
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One for guitarists
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true, but for me the guitar was always on 10...
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😊
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Ain’t It the Truth!
Bill, tgo
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One for the dead heads
https://www.tiktok.com/@newspringfieldboogie/video/7042785657344757039
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I always suspected.....
Peter (who will now go hide)
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Well, maybe I won't hide just yet; there is always another groan to elicit.
Peter
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Have you tried this when you buy a seat for your bass Jimmy J? ;D
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Hey, it works!
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Hey, it works!
And easier than the way Brian Wilson did it (his dad smacked him in the head with a piece of 2X4, rendering him deaf in his right ear - which is why all their stuff was mixed to mono).
Peter
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$50 ain’t enough!
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Picked one up to do a set-up back when I worked at GC; looked at it, thought about it, put it down, and set up an instrument with a sensible wiggle handle instead,
That was 42 years ago, and I have yet to attempt one.
Peter (who whammies little - but when he does prefers the basic magic of a Bigsby; I mean, did Floyd use a Harley-Davidson valve spring in any part of his [over]design? I think not.
But I might buy one if young ladies like that will lean over my car and take care of the fool thing.
Peter
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A musical meme
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Such fiendishness!
Peter
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$50 ain’t enough!
I have an 87 Ibanez Jem that takes about a week to get right when I put on new strings.
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10 Best Bands!
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More
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😆
First band after high school. Tempo changes, multiple key/ chord changes, all the “cool” stuff. Nobody ‘got it’. We had a lot of fun.
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What is the difference between a rock musician and a jazz musician…The rock musician plays 3 chords to 5,000 people…The jazz musician plays 5,000 chords to 3 people. (Story of my life) :-[
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From the couch
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Necessity is indeed the mother of invention!
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So was Frank Zappa.🤔😂
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Nyuk nyuk.
Peter
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was just in Peterhead, Scotland trying to unravel the dark side of my mom with my half-sister who I only found out about six years ago...
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Now there's a thought.
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Unite!
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Things go better.....
Peter
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Well, it would if I actually texted.......
Peter (who will you back to Bill's post 2 above this)
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Yeah, I'm simultaneously on another of the guitar-oriented fora that I frequent, whose humor thread is on page 3547.......
Peter
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https://www.thefarside.com/2025/07/10/3 (https://www.thefarside.com/2025/07/10/3)
Peter
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Can anyone help me find an obscure album from back in the day? One of the first "tribute" albums, it was a collaboration by Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles, doing Dylan songs.
It was called Blind On Blind.
Peter
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And that's a good thing.........
Peter (who will not turn in his Boomer card due a boredom with Zep; he is not alone!)
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Always.
Peter
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;D
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Oh, the horror!
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nailed it!
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Not my fault!
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Well, none of us will need it.....
Peter
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(Actually, I used them for tinder.....)
Peter
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Allegedly.
Peter
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Peter
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Always trust what the frog says… 😆
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Need one of these in my shop.
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Road sign:
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Maybe it should be Ms. Ippis?
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The Police responded to a call about domestic violence, to find that the wife had beaten her husband with several of his guitars, and she was taken into custody.
In her first court appearance, the Judge asked her, 'First offender?'
She replied,'No your honor, first a Gibson, THEN a Fender.'
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Peter
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The Police responded to a call about domestic violence, to find that the wife had beaten her husband with several of his guitars, and she was taken into custody.
In her first court appearance, the Judge asked her, 'First offender?'
She replied,'No your honor, first a Gibson, THEN a Fender.'
100% true story... it's been long enough that I can probably get by with telling it if I don't name names.. we fixed a banjo one time, a Gibson Granada top-of-the-line gold-plated model, that had been a severe victim of domestic violence. In a drug and alcohol-fueled rage, the banjo had been flung down a flight of steps, after being taken out of its case. Let that sink in. When we got it, the headstock was broken off, two of the tuning pegs sheared off. The neck heel was broken right between the two lag bolts that joined it to the shell, and that was just the beginning. The beautiful gold-plated flange was broken in three places, and had shattered the sidewall of the sunburst finished resonator. The saddest part of the backstory; the banjo had been a gift from a grandfather to a grandson. It was almost a total loss when this tearful grandfather brought it to us to see if it could be fixed. Between Dad and me, we put that fool thing back together. You really had to know what to look for to know anything ever happened to it.
A couple, well... several years later, I was at a jam one night, and saw the case... unmistakable - still had the nameplate on it. I didn't see the cat around there anywhere though. After a while I asked where they were? Nobody knew who I was talking about. I said, well, that's his banjo over there. Just a buncha' shrugs. Turned out after all that work, it got sold, the repairs were never disclosed, and the guy who bought it had no idea. I guess it was less funny to them. Fortunately the guy who had bought the Gibson had known Dad and me both for years, so he was good with it if a little unhappy. As far as I know, he still has that banjo. I happen to know he has a grandson who plays too...
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Sad, but true!
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More sad news.....
Peter
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But of course you'd to put roses around the head......
Peter
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More truth.
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Valve chess!
Peter
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The board is set up 90° from where it should be. (Lower right corner should be a white square. I see this error often on TV and in movies).
Bill, tgo (who played first board on his high school chess team)
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The board is set up 90° from where it should be. (Lower right corner should be a white square. I see this error often on TV and in movies).
Bill, tgo (who played first board on his high school chess team)
By "lower right", do you mean the corner closest to us? it is white.
Peter
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Now, every stage problem......
Peter
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The board is set up 90° from where it should be. (Lower right corner should be a white square. I see this error often on TV and in movies).
Bill, tgo (who played first board on his high school chess team)
By "lower right", do you mean the corner closest to us? it is white.
Peter
As the player is facing the board, the lower right square occupied by the rook is supposed to be a white square. In the above pic it is a black square.
Bill, tgo
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Valve chess!
interesting collection of glassware there, kinda like a trip thru memory lane. somebody went thru a lotta trouble with the sockets and hardware. i can't make out any numbers. they don't look like TV tubes to me. whaddya suppose - 12AU7's for pawns?
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cool idea...
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The board is set up 90° from where it should be. (Lower right corner should be a white square. I see this error often on TV and in movies).
Bill, tgo (who played first board on his high school chess team)
By "lower right", do you mean the corner closest to us? it is white.
Peter
As the player is facing the board, the lower right square occupied by the rook is supposed to be a white square. In the above pic it is a black square.
Bill, tgo
OK, I understand what you meant now. Having never gotten beyond how which piece piece moves, I'm not hip to the inside chess lingo.
Peter
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Yes. The saying was “White On The Right.”
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Peter
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Peter
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Help!
Peter
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Uhh - yep!
Peter
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Great bunch Cozmik Cowboy.
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Truth Bomb
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Helpful tip of the day ;D
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I wonder why it won't let us post an image without words?
Peter
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Yeah, we've all seen variations on this one - but I hadn't come across this one before.
Enjoy.
Peter
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'Grandpa, what's the quickest way to the Lake?'
' . . .ya walkin' or drivin'?'
'Drivin'
'That's the quickest way'
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Speaking of Grandpa…
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And again with the Grandpas:
.
Peter
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Yep
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The best thing about the good oold days is that I wasn't good & I wasn't old.
Peter
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amen to that!
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And just when you thought that stuff couldn't be made any worse.....
Peter
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Something to think about …
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I just failed to post an attached meme. When I tried again, it told me it had been posted. Then I came here I discovered that all the attachments in the thread are gone.
Anyone else having this problem?
Peter
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I just failed to post an attached meme. When I tried again, it told me it had been posted. Then I came here I discovered that all the attachments in the thread are gone.
Anyone else having this problem?
Peter
Same.
Link is visible (.png, .jpg) clicking said link reveals a 404 message.
Videos in the ‘Listening to’ thread are functional.
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More.
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A suggestion?