Alembic Guitars Club
Connecting => Miscellaneous => Topic started by: lbpesq on May 09, 2011, 07:03:14 AM
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(http://club.alembic.com/Images/449/104065.jpg)
Bill, tgo
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Hey _____! That's what happened to me but I wanted to be the next world famous Trumpet player like Herb Alpert back in the 1960's instead . I never even tried to be a guitar player. I went from Trumpet to Bass , never guitar , LOL ___.
I Still play the Trumpet . Bass Clef to Treble Cleff , Treble Clef to Bass Clef .
Hey__ that's not a C it's an E . NO ____that A is really an F !! LOL _______
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Not to forget______Before I started on the Trumpet lessons when I was 10, I had Piano lessons at age 8 for 2 years, but that did not work out for me because of various reasons. By the late 1960's I was living and hanging out right in the middle of the San Francisco Rock Sound and wanted to jam with my musician friends ( many of them guitar players) so I purchased my first used Bass for $35.00 when I was 15 .I continued to play the Trumpet and had to read the parts in the school bands as written but when I went home I picked up my Bass and ran off to jam and make up my own Bass parts with my friends who were all Grateful Dead Fans .I often latter got in in trouble with both the Band and Orchestra conductors for improvising parts on the trumpet around this time which often resulted in me being highly reprimanded and being told to leave the until I would agree to comply to the arrangements as written. By this time all really wanted to do was explore more musical freedom and at the time the Bass had become a great love of mine for this musical exploration, and besides; my friends didn't throw me out of the class ! lol ____
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Thanks for the smile Bill.
Graeme
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Okay...Intelligent bass players??
A bass player goes into a shop and says to the assistant
I have been playing 4 string electric bass for 20 years and I want to expand my ability to a 5 string
The assistant replies;- So you are a bass player eh?
The guy answers Yes
The assistant then asks;- So are you any good at it?
The guy replies Yes I am, I play nearly all styles of music, can sight read music and chord charts, have a good knowledge of musical theory and set up all my 4 string instruments
The assistant then replies
This is grocery store..you need to be further down the road
Yes a crap joke, I know
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One for drummers:
- Hey kid, what do you want to be when grown-up?
- Drummer
- Hey, one thing or another...
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Years ago a bass-playing friend told me this one:
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?'
Four.
One to do it, the other three to stand around saying 'that's not how Jaco would have done it, dude.'
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How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
a) No one knows. No one ever noticed.
b) None, the keyboard player does it with his left hand.
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Edwin, keyboard players use their left hand so that it feels like someone else is doing it.
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Did you ever hear about the bass player that was so bad that even the lead singer noticed?
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Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
Took him an hour to get the drummer out!
:p
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LOL !!!
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From a drummer friend:
If a drummer beats on his drum in a forest and no one is there to hear it,
does it really make a sound?
I don't know.........................
I'm a drummer - duh!
Next:
How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. I don't know, but they must be really tiny. I wonder what size sticks they use...?
B. Ten - one to actually do it and nine to argue about how Steve Gadd would have done it.
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How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. Five. One. Five.
Peter
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An oldie but goodie!
This guy goes on vacation to a tropical island. As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks Wow, this is cool. He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He tries to go to sleep, yet he hears drums.
This goes on for several nights, and gets to the point where the guy can't sleep at night because of the drums. Finally, he goes down to the front desk.
When he gets there, he asks the manager, Hey! What's with these drums. Don't they ever stop? I can't get any sleep.
The manager says, No! Drums must never stop. It's very bad if drums stop.
Why?
When drums stop...bass solo begins.
slawie
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Q. How can you tell the stage is level?
A. Drool runs out of BOTH sides of the drummer's mouth.
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Ok this isn't about bass players, but I couldn't resist:
How can you tell when a lead singer is at the door?
They can't find the key and don't know when to come in!
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HA HA HA HA
That is great, love it!
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Producer came to the Singer and asked her to start 1/64 late on first beat, then asked if she could move a coma up at second note, but going quarter tone down at third before came back to pitch on fourth note. At sequel he begged her to make a false start and step in a 1/32 before the beat and the list went on and on...
Confused she told him that she couldn't remember all that. So he said:
- Ok, just do it how you did on your last try
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How do you confuse a guitar player...give him a sheet of music
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How do you confuse a keyboard player?
Take the music away.
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Did you hear about the accordion player who locked his accordion in the car? He came back 15 minutes later, found the window busted and 5 more accordions in the back seat.
Weirdly, as I started to type this, accordion music came on for 15 seconds in movie that's on!
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What is the difference between a pizza and a drummer?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
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How do you get the lead singer off your doorstep?
Pay him for the pizza.
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What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless!
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A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't. - Tom Waits
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What do you call someone who is tone deaf and likes to hang out with musicians?
A drummer!
Bill, tgo
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How can you tell that the stage is level?
Drool runs out of *both* sides of the drummer's mouth!
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How many singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One...he just holds the bulb cause the world revolves around him. (unscrewing occurs south of the equator)
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Why do musicians keep drumsticks on their dashboard?
A: To park in the handicapped spots.
What do you call the time when all the musicians go to the bar?
A: The drum solo.